


Lovestruck

by Sabeley



Series: Lovesick [2]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Isak, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Isak's POV, Kid Fic, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mentions of bottom!Even, Moving In Together, Weddings, dad!even, doctor!Isak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-02-27 23:44:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13259094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabeley/pseuds/Sabeley
Summary: Isak’s adventures in fatherhood.Or 5 times Isak asked Even’s daughter an important question and 1 time she asked one back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I kid fic’d again. For everyone who knew this was coming: Sorry it took so long. I got distracted by all of the shiny, new Christmas fics. For everyone who didn’t: I hope it’s a pleasant surprise! I always said that Lovesick wasn’t just a love story between Isak and Even—it was a love story between Isak and Juliet as well. This is a continuation of both of those love stories and I hope it brings you as much joy as it brought me while I was writing it.

1\. 

Isak had been awake for at least ten minutes, but he still couldn’t stop staring. It was early enough that his alarm hadn’t yet gone off and although there was no reason for him to be awake, he was—his heart so full on an otherwise normal Tuesday morning that it felt like it was going to explode out of his chest. When he’d fallen asleep the night before he hadn’t expected to wake up to _this_ , but as the morning sun started streaming through the windows of Even’s bedroom, Isak stared down at the two loves of his life, both sleeping, and wondered how in the world he had gotten this lucky. 

Even was laying on his side facing him, completely oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. He was wearing a threadbare T-shirt of Isak’s, his breathing steady, and he looked so soft with his hand splayed out over Isak’s pillow—almost like he had been reaching for him in the night—that it took Isak’s breath away. He probably had been. Even when they didn’t fall asleep in each other’s arms, they usually ended up there by daybreak, both craving the heat of another body after so much time alone. 

If Even had reached for him the night before, however, he would have found Juliet sleeping between them instead. It made for a nice picture, but Isak knew there would be hell to pay when Even woke because Juliet wasn’t supposed to be there and Isak knew it. Even had been trying to teach her to sleep in her own bed, but when she’d cracked open their door in the middle of the night, it wasn’t Even that had awakened to her tremulous “Daddy” and Isak hadn’t yet learned how to tell her no, so he let her crawl into bed next to him and fall asleep in the relative safety of his arms. He thought it might be worth whatever ire was coming to be able to see the two of them like this, father and daughter laying side by side, their noses twitching in unison every couple of minutes like a family of rabbits. Isak couldn’t stop smiling. 

He hadn’t realized until he met the two of them that hearts were capable of so many different types of love. He’d had boyfriends before Even, of course, but he had never felt even a fraction for them of what he now felt for Even. He hadn’t known that love could be so all-consuming, so strong, and he certainly hadn’t known he was capable of the type of love he felt for Juliet. His relationship with his own parents was rocky at best—all of the good memories mixed in with all of the bad until the love Isak felt for them was marred by something dark and impenetrable—but what Isak felt for Juliet was a pure, perfect love that comforted and terrified him in equal measure. She was like this tiny piece of Even living outside his body and there wasn’t a single part of Even that Isak didn’t love. 

Unable to keep still any longer, he reached over Juliet and ran his finger down the bridge of Even’s nose, tracing the shape of it. His touch was feather-light, but Even flinched away from it regardless, burrowing his face into his pillow to hide it from view. Isak then moved on, tracing down the shell of his ear instead, and, when that _still_ didn’t wake him up, he began carding his fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at the scalp until _finally_ Even hummed in pleasure and blinked his eyes open sleepily. He smiled over at Isak, still sleep-soft and bleary-eyed, but when he made to lean forward and press his lips to Isak’s in greeting, he realized that there was something—some _one_ —blocking his way. He looked surprised for all of two seconds before his frown turned into a full-blown pout. 

“Isak,” he whined, his voice barely a whisper it was so quiet. “What is this?” 

Isak shrugged. “She had a nightmare.” 

Even rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face suggested that he was more amused than annoyed. “Then you tell her it was just a dream and take her back to bed.” 

Isak looked down at Juliet, her blonde curls a mess atop her head, and tried to imagine himself sending her away in the middle of the night, but he just couldn’t. “But look at her face, Even,” he argued. “How can you say no to that face?” As if on cue, Juliet snuffled and turned so that she was pressed up against Isak’s chest. Isak’s heart flipped and he turned his pleading eyes to Even. “See?” he mouthed, gesturing down at the sleeping child cradled against him. Even, once again, rolled his eyes. 

“I know, Isak, but this can’t happen or we’re never going to be able to have—” He paused to put his hand over Juliet’s one visible ear and then mouthed “morning sex” with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows. “—again.” Isak winced. “It’s been eight months,” Even continued in a whisper. “You’re supposed to have built up an immunity to her by now.” 

Isak scoffed. “She looks like you, only cuter,” he pointed out. “I can’t fight that.” 

“She is pretty cute, isn’t she?” Even grinned, reaching out to run his fingers through her tangled curls. “Did she keep you up long? You could have woken me.” 

“No, she was fine,” Isak said and that was the truth. He’d liked it, if he was being honest—sharing a bed with the two of them. It was almost like they were a real family. 

Even squinted his eyes doubtfully, but didn’t press the issue. He raised up onto his elbows to check the alarm clock behind Isak’s head and, upon seeing that it was time for the three of them to get up, groaned. He leaned over his daughter and pressed one hard kiss against Isak’s lips, lingering barely long enough for Isak to bury his fingers in his hair before he was pulling away. 

“Jules,” he then said at a normal volume, shaking her shoulder lightly. “Come on, get up. It’s time to get ready for school.” Much like her father, Juliet groaned, burrowing deeper into Isak’s chest like he might protect her. He was already thinking through whether it would be possible to skip work and lay here with her all day when Even looked down at him pointedly. Isak sighed. 

“Juliet,” he said, prying her fingers off of his T-shirt. “We have to wake up, sweetie.” She seemed much more amenable when it was Isak asking and her eyes fluttered open. When she saw Isak in front of her, she smiled, blue eyes sparkling, and then turned to Even. 

“Isak let me sleep in here last night,” she announced happily, like maybe he hadn’t figured that out yet. 

“I see that,” Even said, glaring over at Isak playfully. “But seriously, Jules. We’ve gotta get up. Come on.” Even stood, extracting himself from the bed covers, but when he turned to pick Juliet up, she curled back into Isak instead. 

“I’m going to stay here,” she announced, her voice muffled by the fabric of Isak’s T-shirt. Isak stared up at Even with wide eyes, silently asking what he was supposed to do now, and Even let out a surprised laugh. 

“Isak has to get up too,” he said, trying to pull Juliet off of him and, when that didn’t work, tickling her sides until she screamed in delight and finally let go. Even took advantage of her distraction to lift her into his arms and place a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. “Good morning,” he said to her, nuzzling closer. She laughed and nuzzled back. 

“Morning.” 

Even spun her once and then set her back onto the ground. “Go get dressed,” he said, turning her towards the door and giving her butt a gentle pat to usher her through it. “I’ll be there in a minute.” Juliet screamed and ran off towards her own room. 

Isak sat up in bed and watched her go, turning his attention back to Even only when he sat down next to him and leaned in for a proper good morning kiss. Their lips were dry and their breath was stale, but Isak didn’t hesitate to reel him in closer, to deepen the kiss, to start his morning off with this one perfect moment that would last him for the rest of the day. 

“Good morning,” Even said when he pulled away, his voice deeper than it had been only seconds before. 

Isak, still breathless, smiled, thinking about all of the days ahead of him that would start exactly like this. “Good morning to you too.” 

* 

After several weeks of trial and error, they had finally come up with a successful morning routine—a routine that included Isak despite the fact that he didn’t technically live there. At least not yet. He slept over at Even’s more often than not, especially on weeks when Juliet was with Sonja, but the lease on his apartment was still good and it sat across town like a safety net, waiting, just in case Isak changed his mind or needed space. He doubted he ever would considering that the nights he spent alone were the nights he dreaded most. 

He showered in Even’s bathroom using his own soap and shampoo and then trekked back into the bedroom with his towel wrapped around his waist to dig through one of the drawers Even had given him, looking for a clean pair of boxers. He then wandered over to the closet, half full of his own clothes, and changed. Even had carved out a space for him in his life long ago and now he was just waiting for Isak to fill it permanently. Here, in Even’s house, Isak felt like he belonged somewhere for the first time in a very long while. It was a good feeling. 

When Isak walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, Even was bent over the stove cooking breakfast, still in his pajamas. Isak couldn’t resist sneaking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist. 

“Good morning,” he said for the second time. He kissed Even softly on the neck and then pulled away. 

“Morning,” Even chuckled. “Can you grab the orange juice?” 

Isak poured three glasses and then joined Juliet at the table where she was playing some game on Even’s iPad. “You look pretty this morning, Miss Juliet,” Isak said, reaching out to tug on her long, blonde braid. Juliet paused her game and preened. 

“It’s my Elsa braid!” she announced proudly. “Daddy did it.” 

“Did he?” Isak smiled, looking over at Even who just shrugged. 

“YouTube,” he explained and although the braid was lopsided, Juliet seemed to love it. 

Even served them all plates of eggs, toast, bacon, and fruit a few minutes later and, just like every morning, they ate together like a family. Soon, however, it was time for Isak to leave. “You almost ready, Jules?” he asked and Juliet nodded eagerly, hopping down from the table and running into the laundry room to grab her bookbag. 

Isak stood and helped Even gather the dishes, but before he could go grab his own things, Even reeled him in so that the two of them were standing in the middle of the kitchen, wrapped in each other’s arms. 

“Why do you always have to go?” Even whined, grabbing Isak’s hips and pulling him closer. 

Isak laughed, throwing his arms around Even’s neck to hold him in place. “Because not all of us have a super cool job that doesn’t start until noon,” he said, nosing closer to him. 

“Nine-thirty,” Even corrected, but Isak wasn’t listening. He leaned in and captured Even’s lips in his own, trying to get his goodbye in before Juliet interrupted them. He meant for it to be a quick peck, but soon the two of them were swaying in each other’s arms, their lips still connected, and if it hadn’t been for Juliet’s giggle, they probably would have stayed like that all morning. Isak forced himself to pull away, disentangling his fingers from Even’s hair, and then stepped out of his embrace. Even kept staring at him for several seconds, his eyes dark, and _god_ , Isak didn’t want to leave. Everyday it got a little bit harder. 

Even finally broke their gaze to say goodbye to Juliet and then he walked them out to Isak’s car, settling her into the backseat before turning to Isak once more. “Are you coming home tonight?” he asked, but then quickly corrected himself. “Sorry. Are you coming _over_ tonight? I know it’s a been a few days.” 

Isak sighed as he counted in his head. Eight days. It had been eight days since he’d slept in his own apartment. The place could have burned down in those eight days and he would have no idea. “I should probably go check in on things,” he said. “Empty the mailbox.” Even’s face fell and Isak felt a pang of longing shoot through him. “Soon,” he promised and Even nodded, leaning in for one last kiss before sending the two of them on their way. 

Driving Juliet to school was the best part of Isak’s mornings. No matter how tired he was, no matter how stressed about the patients he had waiting on his schedule that day, she never failed to calm him down. So he listened to her chatter away about Isabel and _Frozen_ and the cat she was convinced Even was buying her for her birthday next month, and with every word she said, it made him feel a little more solid, like she was waking him up. 

When they got to the school, Juliet kissed his cheek without prompting and then stepped out of the car with the help of a teacher that was waiting for her. Isak watched as she walked away, waving goodbye, and for the rest of the day, he carried that image with him. Everytime he walked into a patient’s room, he saw Juliet. Everytime he questioned whether he should order a test _just to be sure_ or started to doubt that a child was telling the truth, he saw Juliet. He saw her everywhere, reminding him over and over that all of his patients were _someone’s_ Juliet. He was a better doctor for it. 

So Isak spent his day at work thinking about Even and Juliet, and when his day ended, he drove home with them still on his mind. He got his mail, ate dinner alone, and climbed into bed way too fucking early, his chest empty because his heart was already asleep across town. 

* 

If there was one thing Isak and Even were bad at, it was space. They were the most codependent couple Isak had ever met and although it should bother him that Even had turned him into this lovesick mess, it just didn’t. Somewhere along the way, Even had softened his heart of stone and some days he didn’t even recognize the person he had become. He didn’t think that was necessarily a bad thing. 

Regardless, by noon the next day they were going on over twenty-four hours without seeing each other, so Isak wasn’t surprised when Even showed up at his office ten minutes before his lunch break. He finished seeing his patients, took his boyfriend by the hand, and then led him out of the building towards the same restaurant they had eaten at the first time Even had surprised him at work so many months ago. And even though Even was complaining about the drama at his own job, Isak was all smiles as he sat across from him, playing with his fingers on top of the table. He was only half listening, knowing Even didn’t actually expect him to say much, and instead he got lost in the deep cadence of his voice. 

“I know it’ll work out in the end,” Even sighed, squeezing Isak’s hand. “But these re-shoots are completely fucking with my schedule. Which—shit, that reminds me. Would you mind picking Juliet up from school today? I know you’re not a babysitter, I swear, but I don’t want her to have to sleep at Sonja’s when I’m only going to be a few hours late.” 

Isak rolled his eyes playfully. “Even, you know I don’t mind.” 

Even smiled. “I’m starting to think you like her better than me. You keep this up, I might get jealous.” Isak looked down at their joined hands and felt his cheeks start to burn. It startled him sometimes just how much he loved that little girl—made him wonder if he actually had any right to. He was lost in his own thoughts when Even reached across the table and lifted his chin, forcing Isak to look at him. “But, seriously? Thank you, Isak. I know you don’t have to do any of this. You have your own life and your own friends and you didn’t sign up to chauffeur around six-year-olds, but—” 

“Actually,” Isak cut him off. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about that.” He stared Even straight in the eyes and couldn’t help but notice a tiny flicker of fear there, so Isak continued on without really thinking through what he was going to say, not wanting to leave him in suspense. “My lease expires at the end of the month and I’m not planning to renew it. If that’s...still okay with you?” 

They hadn’t talked about it much in the intervening months and Isak had let himself start to fear that this wasn’t actually what Even wanted, but before he could start to dread the answer, Even's face cracked into the most magnificent smile. “Yeah?” he asked, his voice breaking a bit on the word like he didn’t dare believe this was really happening. His fingers tightened their hold on Isak’s hand possessively and Isak didn’t think he even realized he was doing it. 

“Yeah,” Isak agreed with a careless shrug, trying to pretend that his heart wasn’t hammering in his chest. “So, this is me signing up to chauffeur around six-year-olds.” He meant it as a joke, but he actually felt a little bit like crying as he thought about the perfect life that was unfolding in front of him. 

Even let go of Isak’s hand and stood from his seat without warning, crossing to Isak’s side of the table so he could sit next to him and pull him into a bone-crushing hug. “I love you so fucking much,” Even whispered into his hair and Isak just nodded, not trusting himself enough to speak. 

It was several minutes before he pulled away and by that time, both of their faces were suspiciously damp. Even wiped first his own and then Isak’s, both of them laughing at their own ridiculousness. They then threw away their trash and Even took Isak by the hand to lead him back to his office. They were halfway there before he stopped dead in his tracks and turned, his face serious, like something important had just occurred to him. “Oh shit, wait. You’re not allergic to cats, are you?” 

* 

Later that afternoon, Isak and Juliet were playing with dolls in her room as they waited for Even to get home and Isak was more nervous than he’d ever been in his life. More nervous than when he left home at sixteen and set out into the real world without a destination in mind. More nervous than on his first day of residency. More nervous than the first time he’d stood in a hospital and been asked a question that’s answer would determine whether a child lived or died. He was trained for that. He was prepared. He was not prepared for this. 

He knew he didn’t _need_ Juliet’s permission to move in, knew that asking her was just a formality, but this was her house too—more her house than Isak’s—and he wanted to know what she thought. He didn’t actually _think_ she would say no, but just knowing that she _could_ terrified him. 

He swallowed hard, wondering when he had given a six-year-old enough power over his life to destroy him. “Hey, Jules?” he asked, interrupting her mid-narration. “Can I ask you a question?” She set the dolls down and looked up at him with wide eyes, like she could sense that he was nervous. Isak tried to shake those nerves off, not wanting to frighten her. He reached out to tuck a curl behind her ear and she smiled, leaning into his touch. “I was talking to your dad today and we were wondering if it would be okay if I move in here with you?” 

The smile she gave him was so bright it melted his heart into a puddle. “Forever?” she asked, practically bouncing in excitement, and she looked so much like Even in that moment that Isak felt a bit weak at the knees. 

Isak was a doctor. He knew you weren’t supposed to make promises that you couldn’t keep because that would only end up hurting people worse in the long run, but he also knew that nothing besides forever would be able to separate him from Even and Juliet. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Forever.” 

Juliet leaned across the distance between them, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, and in her happiness, Isak found his answer. 

* 

The first few weeks were easy, comfortable, like this really was where Isak belonged. They rented a moving van and it only took one trip (and a little help from Jonas) to get everything to Even’s house. Or _their_ house now. Even had already added his name to the placard on the door: _Even, Isak, and Juliet._ Their own little family. 

Isak fit into their lives seamlessly, fell easily into the routines they had established over the past few months, and everything was so perfect that sometimes when he woke up in the mornings, he thought he was still dreaming. He hadn’t known it was possible to feel this happy—this _loved._

Despite the fact that Isak had to get up earlier for work, Even always fell asleep first. Isak didn’t mind. It gave him a chance to stare at his boyfriend unabashed without him wriggling away in discomfort. That was what he was doing when he heard the bedroom door click open one night about a month after he moved in. 

Isak turned and, upon seeing Juliet hunched in the doorway with her stuffed bear clutched tightly to her chest, sat up, thankful that he had taken Even’s advice and put his pajamas back on after what they’d gotten up to earlier. “Jules, what’s wrong?” he whispered, not wanting to wake Even, and she ran to him, holding her arms open so he could pick her up and cradle her on his lap. “Did you have a bad dream?” She burrowed her nose into his neck and nodded, but didn’t say anything else, so Isak just sat there and rocked her until her heartbeat started to slow. 

“Can I sleep with you?” she mumbled after a few minutes, smacking her lips like she was starting to drift off again. 

Isak was just about to say yes—had already turned to set her down on the mattress—but when he looked over at Even, he remembered that he wasn’t just the boyfriend anymore. He was the _live-in_ boyfriend now and that came with certain responsibilities. Like parenting. 

He threw one last longing look at Even, silently begging him to wake up and do the hard part for him, but he stayed stubbornly asleep. Isak sighed and turned back to Juliet, who was still sitting on his lap. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but you know you can’t.” She immediately started pouting, blue eyes wide, and Isak forced himself to look away because he knew that if he didn’t, that face would weaken his resolve. “Come on, I’ll take you back to bed.” 

So he picked her up and carried her back to her room where she pouted some more and refused to relinquish her grip on his T-shirt. Eventually Isak just gave in laid down beside her, letting her cuddle into his chest as he smoothed her curls. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Isak steeling himself for the moment when he would have to leave her alone once more, but eventually he knew he had to speak. 

“It was just a dream, Jules,” he whispered against her hair. “Dreams can’t hurt you unless you let them.” He unwound her fingers from his shirt and then sat up, pleased when she stayed where she was, tracking him with her eyes, but making no moves to draw him back in. “Look,” he said, standing and walking over to the owl-shaped night light that was plugged into the wall. He flipped it on and let the dim orange glow wash across the room. “Is that better?” She shrugged. “Well then what are you scared of?” he asked, sitting back down and patting her foot through the blankets. “You know me and your dad are right downstairs. Nothing is going to happen to you.” 

She tilted her head and looked up at him, eyes wide and innocent. “I dreamed that you left,” she said and then buried her face in her pillow, like she was embarrassed to have admitted it. Isak’s stomach dropped and it took him a few long seconds to compose himself enough to speak. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. _Not ever again_. He reached out and turned her cheek to force her to look into his eyes. She rolled over to see him better. 

“You promise?” she asked, pouting, and Isak made sure that his reply was adamant. 

“I promise,” he said, leaving no room for argument. Juliet’s answering smile was far more blinding than the night light. “I would never leave you or your dad.” He reached out to boop her on the nose and she laughed, grabbing his finger in her small hand. Isak brought it to his lips and kissed it, making her preen. “I love you too much,” he finished and that, finally, seemed to satisfy her. “Are you going to be okay in here by yourself?” he asked, standing, and Juliet nodded. “Okay, well, good night then, Jules.” 

Juliet rolled over, turning her back to him as he left the room like she hadn’t a care in the world. “Good night, Isak,” she replied, voice heavy with sleep. Isak stood in the doorway and watched her for several long seconds, drinking her in, before he finally stepped into the hall and made his way back to Even. 

When he crawled into bed and pressed his cold toes against Even’s legs, Even didn’t react except to roll over and snuggle into his side, much as Juliet had only minutes before. It was like he knew, even subconsciously, just how close he had come to having to share him. Isak slept better that night than he had in years, basking in the warm comfort of family. 


	2. Chapter 2

2\. 

They had been living together for a year—dating for almost two—and yet Isak still thought about Even constantly, like he was a song playing on loop in his head. Even when he wasn’t consciously thinking about him, Even was there, lurking in the recesses of his mind, reminding Isak that there was someone at home waiting for him. He felt like a schoolboy with a crush, completely lost to Even’s charm. Every touch still set him aflame. Every kiss shook him to his core. When he was at work, he wanted to get home to him, and when he was at home, he wanted Even closer. He wanted _more_ —always more. He wanted everything that Even had to offer. It was like he had been hypnotized by him on that very first day in his office and now there was no turning back. He had surrendered his body and mind completely and Even cherished them, offering his own in return. 

Isak was sitting in Jonas’s back yard, a cold beer in hand as he watched Juliet and Isabel play on the swingset, and all he could think about was the enamoured look on Even’s face when he had kissed him goodbye that morning, whispering “I love you” like he couldn’t hold it in any longer. Like the thought of keeping it bottled up physically pained him. And Isak got it—he really did—because when he’d stared up into Even’s lovestruck gaze, all he could think about were those same blue eyes piercing his own as Even had rocked into his body early that morning, tearing him apart and rebuilding him in the span of minutes. His cheeks were still burning at the memory even hours later and he felt drunk on the high it had given him. He was completely in love with Even and he couldn’t imagine his life getting any better than it was now. Maybe that’s why he said what he said next. 

“I’m going to ask Even to marry me.” 

Jonas—who was in the middle of talking about Isabel’s karate lessons—froze. He was quiet for several seconds, his mouth open in surprise. “Are you serious?!” he finally sputtered out, a huge smile on his face. Isak, taken aback by the strength of his own resolve, nodded, a laugh bubbling out of him as he realized just how sure he was. “Oh my god,” Jonas cried, clapping him on the shoulder. “When?” 

Isak shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know.” 

“Okay,” Jonas chuckled. “Well then how?” When Isak shrugged again, Jonas rolled his eyes. “Do you even have a ring?” 

“No,” Isak admitted. “I just decided. Just now.” 

Jonas snorted. “While we were talking about karate?” 

Isak thought it would be rude to mention that he hadn’t been listening to a word Jonas said and instead looked out across the yard at Juliet who was flying high on the swing set, crying out in joy every time the wind whipped through her hair. She got that unrestrained joy from Even. 

“I love him a lot,” he said by way of explanation because really, that was all he had. 

“I know you do,” Jonas agreed and Isak could hear him smiling through his words. 

Isak tore his eyes away from Juliet and forced himself to look back at his best friend. He could feel himself blushing at the sentimentality of it all, but he had to say it— _wanted_ to say it. And, hell, he probably needed to practice if he was ever going to say it to Even. “I love _her_ a lot too.” 

Jonas shook his head and huffed out an amused breath. “I know you do, Isak. And Even does too.” 

As the bright, shiny newness of the idea began to wear off, the reality sank in and Isak found his smile fading as he lowered his gaze to his lap. “And you think he’ll say yes?” he asked, trying not to sound as terrified as he felt at the thought of this whole world he’d built crumbling away. He’d never had a real family before and now that he did, maybe it was better not to upset the status quo and risk losing it all. 

Jonas scoffed like he’d never been asked a more ridiculous question in his life and ducked his head to force Isak to look at him. “Yes, Isak,” he replied, deadpan. “I know he will. Just—quick word of advice? Maybe don’t do it while you’re drunk.” 

Startled, Isak snapped his gaze back to Jonas, forgetting his own worries. “You proposed to Eva while you were drunk?” he asked incredulously, positive that he had never heard that particular story before. 

“No,” Jonas laughed, waving him off. “She proposed to _me_ while she was drunk and didn’t remember it the next morning. It gave me the confidence to ask her myself though, so I’m not really complaining.” He broke off, a dopey smile plastered onto his face. 

Isak grinned, feeling slightly more at ease after the happy memory. It was good to have a reminder that for some people, things actually did work out. “So I just, like, ask him?” he confirmed, going off of only what he had seen on TV. “Straight up?” 

“Straight up,” Jonas agreed. 

Isak sighed and, as knots started tying themselves together in his stomach at just the thought of popping the question, ducked his head into his hands and let out a frustrated groan. “Fuck, I’m already nervous. Is it going to stay like this until I actually do it?” 

Jonas gave him a pitying half-smile. “Just because you know they’re going to say yes doesn’t make it any easier,” he shrugged. “It’s the most important question you’ll ask in your life. You’re allowed to be nervous.” 

After a solid minute of mourning what was sure to be weeks—maybe even months—of stress, Isak lifted his head and, although he hadn’t been looking for her, saw Juliet in the distance, her tinkling laugh carrying over to him across the breeze. The knot in his stomach unclenched just enough for him to smile. 

* 

Over the next few weeks, Isak planned—or at least he tried to—but every proposal idea he came up with just didn’t seem good enough. It didn’t seem like Even. It didn’t seem like _them_. He lay awake at night brainstorming and woke up in a bad mood when he didn’t dream up something perfect in his sleep. It was this constant nagging in the back of his mind and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could live with it before it drove him insane. He knew Even must have picked up on his odd behavior, but if he did, he never said anything. He just held Isak a little bit tighter at night like he knew he needed the extra comfort. 

Despite the uncertainty over the specifics, however, the desire to marry him never went away. If anything, it only grew stronger each day until Isak felt like the question might burst out of him at any time without warning or preparation or even a ring. That’s how badly he wanted to ask. That’s how badly he wanted to marry him. It was distracting, was what it was, and Isak was therefore unsurprised when one night after work Even’s hand danced across his field of vision, trying to get his attention. 

Isak turned to him sheepishly and Even smirked like he knew exactly what he had been thinking. “You with me?” Even asked, turning back to the fish he was grilling on the stove once he was sure Isak was listening. “Where’d you go?” 

Isak, who was sitting atop the counter next to Even with a glass of red wine in his hand, shrugged. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I drifted off, I guess. What were you saying?” 

Even rolled his eyes but smiled, and Isak couldn’t help but be slightly amazed that although Even _must_ know something was up, he seemed to instinctively understand that Isak’s feelings for _him_ hadn’t changed. 

“I was saying,” Even drawled, making it clear that it wasn’t the first time he’d tried to get Isak’s attention. “That I have to go to New York in October for that film festival—” 

“And you want me to go with you?” Isak guessed. 

“Well, yeah,” Even chuckled, “but I was wondering if we should maybe bring Juliet too? She wouldn’t be able to see the movie, but we could make a vacation out of it.” Isak smiled at the thought and looked out into the living room where Juliet was rolling around on the carpet with Sven, the orange tabby cat Even had bought her for her last birthday. “Or do you think we should wait a few years?” he added. “Until she’s old enough to remember it better?” 

He had been doing that a lot lately: making tentative plans years in advance—things they would do with Juliet when she was older—as if to remind Isak that he wanted him by his side for all of it. Isak wasn’t an idiot. He knew Even was trying to drop hints and he was getting less subtle about it by the day. That overwhelming desire inside of Isak to marry the man in front of him was reflected in Even’s eyes as well, but he knew Even wasn’t going to take the burden of a proposal away from him, no matter how badly he wished he would. He never pushed Isak for more than he was ready for and with Juliet in the picture, marriage was something he needed Isak to be absolutely sure about. Even had been patiently waiting for him to get there. 

“We should take her now,” Isak decided with a sip of his wine. He looked up at Even from beneath his eyelashes, trying to hide just how infatuated he was, but failing miserably. “And then again in a few years when she can appreciate it more. I mean, we’re going anyway. What’s one more plane ticket?” 

The smile Even gave him in return was blinding and Isak’s stomach leapt so hard at the sight that it left him feeling a bit off-kilter. He set his wine glass down next to him to keep from spilling it and it was a good thing he did because when Even reached out to squeeze his knee playfully, his whole body went weak with affection and he could feel those words he had been dying to say bubbling up in the back of his throat, ready to break free. He didn’t want to wait a second longer—wanted Even to know everything that he was keeping bottled up inside—but he knew he had to. At the very least, he needed a ring because that was what Even deserved, but he worried that if he waited, the confidence coursing through him now would disappear altogether. So he gave himself a deadline. 

“Juliet’s going to be with Sonja this weekend, isn’t she?” he asked, breathless in his hurry to get the words out. Even didn’t seem to notice the change. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, stirring the pot in front of him. “They’re going to the cabin.” 

Isak nodded. “Do _you_ have any plans?” 

Even paused his stirring and squinted over at him suspiciously. “Why?” he asked, smirking. “Did you want to take me out on a date?” 

“Maybe,” Isak shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “Or maybe I just want to stay in bed with you all weekend.” 

Even let out a startled laugh. “Well yes to both,” he grinned. “I’ll clear my schedule.” 

Isak nodded and once Even turned back to his cooking, he sighed in relief, his heart pounding hard in his chest as he began counting down the minutes until he finally popped the question that had been dancing inside his head for weeks. 

* 

It was Thursday—roughly 2100 minutes away from when Isak was planning to propose—and he was already a nervous wreck as he sat in the car line waiting to pick Juliet up from school. His mind had been elsewhere all day, scripting speeches and sorting through the engagement rings he had been looking at online, so it wasn’t until his car door was pulled open that he snapped back to reality. He turned to find Juliet crawling in with her blonde hair in tangles as if she had just come from the playground. She lunged for Isak immediately, trying to give him a hug, but her backpack got snagged on one of the seats and it took several seconds to untangle her. 

“Hi,” she smiled brightly, a smudge of dirt on her cheek, and despite his nervousness, Isak couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Hi,” he returned, reaching back to give her a one-armed hug, and then waited for her to settle. Once he heard the click of her seatbelt, he drove away. “How was school?” 

Juliet started talking immediately, rambling on about her day and the book they were reading during story time, but Isak was only half listening, still lost in his own thoughts. He hummed from time to time, asked questions every now and then to keep her talking, but he had long ago lost thread of the conversation when she said something that caught his interest. 

“And Anna said her mom’s getting married on Saturday,” she said and then paused like she was thinking about what exactly that meant. Isak looked up into the rearview mirror and was surprised to find Juliet looking back at him, her head cocked in question. “Do you think you and Daddy will ever get married?” she asked, innocent as can be. It sounded like she had been thinking about it for a while and Isak couldn’t help but wonder how many times she had asked Even that same question. 

His heart stuttered to a stop and then began racing forward once more. He _had_ considered telling her because it felt like something she should know, but he didn’t trust her to be able to keep it a secret from Even. Still, she was asking and it felt rude to lie. 

“Um,” Isak started and then took a deep breath to compose himself, thinking through exactly what he wanted to say. “Would you be okay with that? If I asked your dad to marry me?” He remembered Jonas telling him that asking Even to marry him would be the most important question he’d ever ask in his life, but this one, somehow, felt _more_ important. Despite his fears and insecurities, he knew in his heart that Even would say yes. He had no clue what Juliet would say and he didn’t know what he would do if she said no. He felt open and vulnerable, like he was laying his heart on the ground and trusting her seven-year-old sensibilities not to stomp on it. 

He wasn’t left wondering for long. The words were barely out of his mouth before Juliet was screaming in excitement and his nerves were already coiled so tightly that he jumped in surprise. “Shit,” he muttered, clutching his heart, but Juliet was too lost in her own fantasy to hear him. 

“You’re getting married?” she asked, leaning forward as far as her seatbelt would let her go. Her eyes were wide, sparkling with barely contained emotion, and Isak felt almost giddy at her reaction. She wanted this. Wanted him. Wanted _them._

__

“Maybe,” he said and then repeated something Even had said to her years before when she had asked him the same thing. “If I’m really lucky.” For the first time in as long as Isak had known her, Juliet was speechless, but watching her in the rearview mirror, her happiness was obvious. She was positively glowing. “You can’t tell him though,” he added because he felt that it needed to be said. 

She shook her head and Isak wasn’t sure if that was her way of saying that no, she wouldn’t tell, or if she was just trying to clear it, because then she started her excited babbling once more. “We’ll have to get horses,” she said, like that was of the utmost importance. “Like Cinderella. And a big cake and presents. And I can be in the wedding, right? I’ll need a pretty dress with bows and…” She continued on in that vein for a while, planning their wedding step by step, and Isak didn’t have the heart to stop her. They were almost home when her babbling trailed off and Isak looked through the rearview mirror once more to find that her eyebrows were furrowed like she was thinking very hard about something. 

“Isak?” she asked and he hummed in reply. “When you and Daddy get married, does that mean _you’ll_ be my daddy too?” 

Juliet’s bluntness never failed to surprise him and he felt his breath catch in his throat at the question. He’d been so preoccupied thinking about how he might soon he someone’s husband that he’d barely given any thought to the fact that he was also going to be someone’s _father._ He’d known Even and Juliet were a box set, of course, but he hadn’t let himself think words like “daughter” because if he did and then Even said no, he thought that loss might kill him. 

“Um, yeah,” he finally choked out, speaking through a lump in his throat. “It would.” 

“Good,” Juliet said immediately and then she sat back in her seat, smiling, as they rode the rest of the way home in silence, Isak trying to fight back the sheer intensity of the joy brewing inside of him. 

They beat Even home by about an hour, which was good. It gave Juliet time to tone down her excitement and Isak time to compose himself. As soon as Even walked through the door, however, Juliet ran to him, letting him pick her up and spin her around as she laughed in delight. When he set her back on the floor, Isak had only a second to worry about what she might say before she started talking, but she kept her promise, regaling Even only with the same inane stories she had told Isak in the car. She was very obviously still excited, but it would be easy to pass off as nothing more than a sugar high if he had to. 

When she excused herself a minute later to go find Sven, Even slunk over to Isak and kissed him on the lips, lingering a bit longer than he usually would—probably because Isak was clinging to his shirt so tightly it was obvious he didn’t want to let go. 

“What’s gotten into her?” Even laughed, nodding down the hall to where Juliet had disappeared. 

Isak followed his gaze, but shrugged, determined to give nothing away. “Maybe she’s just happy to see you.” Even rolled his eyes in fond exasperation—as if he knew that it wasn’t actually Juliet Isak was talking about—but he didn’t question him further. Instead he reached out, pulling Isak into a soft kiss that curled his toes, and when they finally broke apart, the curious sparkle in Even’s eyes spoke of a promise of things to come. 

* 

Even and Juliet were still in her room packing when the doorbell rang on Friday night, so it fell to Isak to answer it. Sonja was standing on the other side, her hair longer than he had seen it in a while, and she smiled at the sight of him. 

“Hi,” she said, pulling him in for a hug, which Isak returned. “I feel like I haven’t see you in forever.” 

“Yeah, it’s been a couple of weeks,” he allowed, stepping back and ushering her into the house. “Work’s kept me busy.” 

Once they were inside, they could clearly hear Even and Juliet arguing from down the hall about the difference between _wanting_ something and _needing_ something for a three-day trip. Sonja turned towards the sound of their voices and smiled. “How long’s that been going on?” she asked. 

Isak looked down at his watch. “Ten minutes?” he guessed. “They may be a while. You want something to drink?” He led her farther into the house so that they weren’t standing in the doorway and Sonja followed him, sitting down on the arm of the couch once they reached the living room. “Water? Coffee? Wine?” 

She laughed. “Don’t tempt me. It’s a good two hours to the cabin. I should probably stay sober if I’m going to drive.” 

“No wine for you then,” Isak smirked. 

When he and Even had first started dating, he worried about Sonja a lot—what she would think of him, what he would think of her. He had never dated a divorcee before and the thought that there would be this other person constantly lurking on the outskirts of their relationship concerned him. But she was Juliet’s mom and Even was a good judge of character, so that alone was enough to allay the worst of his fears. When he actually met her for the first time, he realized that he needn’t have worried at all. She accepted him instantly, trusted him with her daughter, and treated him as a permanent fixture in their lives from the very beginning. Isak could see so much of her in Juliet and even if he didn’t love Sonja for any other reason, he would have loved her for that alone. 

“Any big plans for the weekend?” Sonja’s question cut through his thoughts and Isak huffed out a laugh as he tried to think of an appropriate response. 

“Kind of,” he shrugged. “Ask Juliet once you leave—I’m sure she’ll tell you. Just don’t let her call until tomorrow afternoon, okay?” 

Sonja furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, but before she could respond, Juliet ran into the room, her blonde hair flying behind her. “Momma!” she cried, leaping into her arms. Sonja stood so that she could pick her up. 

“Hey, sweetie. You all packed?” 

Juliet nodded just as Even ambled into the room with her small suitcase in hand. “Hey, Sonja,” he said, setting it on the ground and then walking forward to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Sorry about the wait.” 

“It’s fine,” she smiled, putting Juliet back on the floor. “But Jon is waiting in the car, so we should probably get going. Jules, tell your dad and Isak bye.” 

Even was closer so Juliet ran to him first and gave him a huge hug around the knees, but before he could even hug her back, she let go and ran to Isak instead. Even chuckled at her odd behavior, but Isak could feel his eyes lingering on him as Juliet motioned for him to bend down. Confused, Isak did so. Juliet turned, as if she was making sure no one was watching, and then ushered Isak even closer until she could cup her small hands around his ear and whisper so that only the two of them could hear. 

“Are you going to ask him tonight?” she said, her breath tickling him. When Isak looked up, both Even and Sonja were watching him through narrowed eyes and he felt his cheeks flush. Unsure of what else to do, he pushed Juliet away just far enough so that he could whisper his reply into her own ear. 

“Tomorrow,” he said and then put a finger over his lips, telling her to be quiet. 

Her smile grew impossibly wide and then she fell into Isak’s arms, wrapping him a tight hug. “I love you, Isak,” she said at a normal volume and then returned to Sonja’s side, saying one last goodbye to Even before the two of them left, leaving Isak and Even alone at last. 

“What was that about?” Even laughed as soon as the door shut behind them. He didn’t seem mad or jealous—only curious—and the knot in Isak’s stomach that had been there for days loosened just a bit. “Are you and my daughter keeping secrets from me? I knew the two of you would gang up on me eventually, but I didn't expect it so soon.” 

Isak rolled his eyes just like he did whenever Even was being extra dramatic. “It’s a surprise,” he shrugged. “You’ll find out eventually.” 

“Yeah?” Even asked, his voice lowering into something more flirtatious than teasing. He crossed the room in two long strides and pulled Isak closer. Isak went without hesitation, resting his hands on Even’s chest so that he could feel the relaxing rhythm of his heartbeat against the palms of his hands. Even gave him a chaste peck on the lips that only left Isak wanting more, but then ducked his head to suck warm, wet kisses into the soft skin of his neck instead. Isak tilted his head back eagerly to give him better access, craving the bruise that he knew Even would leave in his wake. It would serve as a reminder of their weekend together when Isak looked in the mirror on Monday morning and saw it staring back at him. 

Even pulled away from his neck a minute later, but he didn’t go far. He leaned forward like he was going to kiss him, but stopped with only a centimeter of space left between them. When he spoke, their lips brushed against each other in the ghost of a kiss. “Maybe I can bribe you into telling me?” he suggested, nuzzling closer. 

Isak smirked. “Well, you can certainly try.” 

That night, Isak made love to his boyfriend for what he hoped would be the last time because in only a few hours, he intended to make him his fiancé. 

* 

Isak expected to be nervous when he woke up, but he wasn’t. As soon as he looked over and saw Even’s sleeping form, bare skin bathed in sunlight, a peace washed over him and he knew—without a doubt—that this was how he wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of his life. He lay there and stared for a few blissful minutes, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, but the fear that Even might wake up early and ruin his plan spurred him into action. 

Being as quiet as he possibly could, Isak rolled over and grabbed the engagement ring Juliet had helped him pick out from the top drawer of his bedside table. He rolled it in his fingers a few times, memorizing the weight of it, and then turned back to Even who slept on, oblivious. 

Isak had spent weeks trying to craft the perfect moment and the perfect words to convey to Even just how much he loved him, but he had come to the conclusion that words didn’t exist to describe something that strong. So he decided not to speak at all. 

Even’s left hand was resting next to his head and Isak took it in his and—before Even had a chance to feel anything—slipped the ring onto his finger. Even snuffled a bit in his sleep, but didn’t wake, and Isak had never been more grateful for anything because at the sight of the engagement ring on his finger, a wave of emotion crashed over him so strong that for a moment it was like he was being washed out to sea. It had been a long time since he had felt possessive over anything, but everything inside of him was screaming “Mine!” and Isak had half a mind to wake Even right away—to ask him the question and make it official so that no one else ever got the chance again. After a few seconds, however, Isak calmed and laid back down next Even, a little closer this time, so that he could continue to watch him sleep. 

They’d stayed up late the night before, finding pleasure in each other’s bodies, and the evidence of their lovemaking lingered on Even’s skin. There was a bruise just behind his ear and another along his ribs, a line of scratches down his back that Isak didn’t remember making, and the faint trace of stubble burn against his cheeks. He was beautiful—absolutely beautiful—and watching him, Isak’s heart felt very full. 

Time seemed to slow as Isak lay there, gazing at the work of art in front of him, but after what could have been a minute or an hour or a day, Even slowly blinked his eyes open and upon seeing Isak already awake and staring back at him, he smiled. 

“Morning,” he said, burying his head in his pillow like he was feeling shy. Isak reached out and forced Even to look at him. He didn’t want to miss a single second of this. He could feel that his cheeks were already flushed and his heart was beating so hard in his chest that he was finding it hard to breathe, but Even didn’t seem to notice. “Did you sleep well?” he asked. 

“I always sleep well with you,” Isak replied and Even chuckled. 

“I always sleep well with you too.” He then reached out with his left hand and cupped Isak’s cheek so that he could pull him closer. Isak could feel the burn of the cold metal ring against his skin and he couldn’t help but shiver, wondering if Even noticed it too. He must not have though because he didn’t even pause before closing the distance between them and pressing their lips together in a soft kiss that Isak deepened almost immediately, licking into Even’s mouth to taste him, wanting to memorize the flavor so that he could keep it bottled inside of him forever. 

It was only when Even moved his hand a moment later, aiming to run his fingers through Isak’s hair, that he seemed to feel something off and pulled away. Isak watched with bated breath as his blue eyes widened when he caught sight of the ring on his finger. It was a simple ring—just a black band with a single diamond inlaid into the center—but it spoke of power and love and everything Isak saw when he looked at Even. 

Even swallowed hard and then sat up as if he thought that would help him see better. Isak sat up as well, the sheets pooling around both of their waists as Even tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Finally, after he had looked his fill, he turned to Isak, his eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“Isak?” he asked hopefully, looking for confirmation of what he already suspected, and Isak smiled at the happiness he saw there. 

Without saying anything, he reached out and grabbed Even’s hand, spinning the ring on his finger a bit in either direction just to have something to do. It fit him perfectly and Isak took that as a sign. When he had pictured this scene in his head, he hadn’t actually imagined that they would be naked, but he liked it better this way. It was as if all of their worries and inhibitions had been stripped away, leaving only their souls behind with no more barriers left between them. 

“Do you remember telling Juliet that you might get to marry me one day, but only if you were really lucky?” Isak asked, squeezing the hand that he was still holding tightly, trying to ground Even since he looked like he was close to floating away. He was surprised to find that his voice was steady even though he could feel his hands shaking. “Well that’s how I feel everyday that I’m with you: so goddamn lucky. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want to be your husband. So please, Even, I am begging you. Will you marry me?” 

Even started nodding as soon as Isak started talking and once he finally fell silent, Even spoke. “Yes,” he said without hesitation, crawling forward on the bed until he was practically in Isak’s lap, like he physically couldn’t stand the distance between them. “Yes, yes, a million times yes.” 

And then they were laughing and kissing through their tears and Isak was 100% positive he had never been this happy before in his entire life. 

“I have one for you too,” Even said a few minutes later when they finally broke apart, but he didn’t make any move to get out of bed. Instead he just sat there, staring into Isak’s eyes like he had never seen him before. Isak’s stomach flipped and it was like Even could feel it too because he brushed his thumb along Isak’s cheekbones as if he were trying to soothe him. 

Isak swallowed hard just to make sure he would be able to speak without his voice cracking. “You have one _what_ too?” he asked. Even kept staring for a beat too long before he seemed to register what Isak asked. 

“Oh,” he chuckled, leaning away from Isak so that he could fish something out of his own bedside table. The sheet fell away from him as he moved, giving Isak an unobstructed view of his ass, and he was just thinking that engagement sex was a thing that needed to happen immediately when Even returned holding a ring box in his hand. “I’ve had it for months,” he shrugged, his voice getting soft. He flipped the top open and held the silver band out for Isak to see. Isak stopped breathing for several long seconds, but Even seemed to have expected that because he just reached out, grabbed Isak’s hand, and slipped the ring on. Then, just as Isak had done, he stared down at it with a huge smile on his face, giving himself a second to appreciate the new development before continuing on. “I wanted to have it ready for when you were. I’ve just been waiting.” 

Isak swallowed down the emotion rising up in his throat and stared down at the ring on his finger, wondering how he ever thought he would be able to live without it. It was like it had been there forever. Like Even had been a part of him all along. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” he said, finally looking up with tears in his eyes. 

Even reached out and brushed the tears away. “I’m not,” he breathed. “Isak, I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” 

Even pulled him in for another kiss that never really ended. They spent the day naked in each other’s arms and it was, quite possibly, the best day of Isak’s life. 

* 

The sun was starting to set, but they hadn’t moved from bed all day, except for when Isak went to the kitchen to find sustenance to last them for the rest of the night. They were both still sweaty from their latest bout of lovemaking, but Isak couldn’t be bothered to care when Even was resting on his chest, his hand held out in front of him to better see the ring Isak had placed on his finger. 

“Isak,” Even said, his voice still awestruck despite the hours that had passed since the initial proposal. “This ring is beautiful.” 

Isak kissed the top of Even’s hair to hide his smile and Even tilted his head up, like he was worried Isak might disappear if he stopped looking at him for too long. “Thanks,” Isak said, but he knew he couldn’t take all the credit. “Your daughter picked it out.” 

Even paused, taking a second to digest his words, and then he started laughing. “Isak,” he wheedled. “Did you ask my daughter’s permission to marry me?” 

Isak thought about lying, but he knew Juliet would rat him out the second she got the chance. It was hard to keep secrets with a seven-year-old in the house. “Maybe.” 

Even rolled his eyes, but he looked hopelessly amused, and soon they were kissing again, hearts so full of love that they had no choice but to let it spill out of them in the only way they knew how. 

* 

When Sonja called a few hours later “just to check in,” Isak knew that Juliet must have blabbed his plans to her, but he had expected that. Even acted deliberately obtuse, answering all of her leading questions with things like “Yeah, it’s been a good day” and “Not too much—just stayed in bed mostly.” Isak hid his smile in his pillow, butterflies zooming around his stomach at the thought that this precious secret they had cultivated between them all day was about to be shared with the world. 

“Even,” Sonja cried, exasperated. Isak could hear her voice clearly through the phone. 

Even laughed, but relented to her unspoken request. “Hey, Sonja? Guess what?” He turned to stare at Isak, his smile growing larger as the happiness hit him again. “I’m getting married.” 

Sonja screamed from the other line and Even pulled the phone away from his ear with a wince. “Juliet,” they heard from the other line and Even immediately put the phone on speaker, knowing what was coming. “Come over here. Daddy has something to tell you.” 

They heard the scrape of what sounded like a chair being pushed back and then Juliet’s small voice came over the phone. “Daddy?” 

“Hey, Jules,” he grinned, relaxing more heavily into Isak’s side. “Isak’s here too.” 

“Hi, Isak,” Juliet greeted and Isak could hear the apprehension in her voice. 

“Hi,” Isak returned, his voice growing thicker with the effort it was taking to keep his happiness in check. “Guess what?” 

“What?” she asked immediately. 

Isak waited a second, letting the suspense build, but finally he couldn’t keep it inside any longer. “He said yes!” 

Just like her mother, Juliet screamed and then burst into happy tears that left her unintelligible. And although Isak had thought that his day couldn’t get any better, he was wrong, because sharing this moment with her—the girl that owned the other half of his heart—made everything absolutely perfect. 


	3. Chapter 3

3\. 

If there was one thing Isak had learned in the past few months, it was that engaged sex was far superior to whatever the hell they had been doing before. It wasn’t a physical change so much as something inside of him that called out to Even, wanting to bring them together and make them whole. He had long hypothesized that married sex would be even better, but Even kept insisting that was impossible. Either way, they would find out soon enough because in less than an hour, they would be married. Before they could walk down the aisle, however, it seemed that Even was determined to have engaged sex one last time. 

“What if married sex is _worse_ than engaged sex?” Even had asked in order to convince him. Isak rolled his eyes, but Even looked so delicious in his sand-colored suit and crisp white button-down that Isak had no desire to tempt fate. 

Even’s suit jacket was now draped carefully over the back of the toilet in their hall bathroom, his trousers pooled at his ankles as Isak kneeled in front of him on the tile floor, sucking him off as their friends and family waited in the backyard for them to make their arrival. With the way Even was trembling at his touch, Isak didn’t think they would have to wait much longer. 

He pulled Even in by the thighs and opened his throat to swallow him down deeper. He knew he had to be efficient about this since their absence at their own wedding was bound to draw suspicion sooner rather than later, but after two years, he knew Even’s body—knew where to touch him to get him off quick—and he used every trick he had to try to speed up the process. It seemed to be working too because Even groaned in pleasure, reaching out tangle his fingers in Isak’s hair, but Isak quickly swatted him away. He was not getting married with sex hair. 

“Fuck, Isak,” Even hissed, throwing his head back against the wall behind him with a dull _thud_ as Isak picked up his rhythm and started massaging Even’s balls in his hand, trying to coax his orgasm out of him. Even thrust forward in time to the beat Isak had set and Isak took every inch of him that Even offered. Within minutes, Even’s legs were shaking so hard Isak was surprised he was still standing. “Fuck, I’m going to come,” he said, trying to push Isak away, but Isak did not budge. Aside from the fact that he knew it turned Even on when he swallowed, he also didn’t want to run the risk of pulling off and getting come all over his neatly-pressed suit. It was the better option all around. 

True to his word, Even came down Isak’s throat with a guttural moan a few seconds later. Isak stroked him through it, trying to prolong his orgasm, but when Even was finally spent, Isak let him slip from his mouth and watched as Even’s legs finally gave out. He collapsed to the floor next to Isak, hissing when his bare ass touched the cool tile. 

“I’m going to miss this,” Even lamented, looking over at Isak with a smug smile. Isak rolled his eyes. 

“Oh my god, Even. I’m not going anywhere. The sex will be just as good tonight, I promise.” Even was still watching him, his pupils dilated, but before Isak could ask what exactly he was looking at, Even answered the question for him, reaching out to rub his thumb along Isak’s sore bottom lip. “How bad is it?” he groaned, touching it himself. He could feel that it was swollen, but he had definitely had worse. 

“You’re perfect,” Even answered, his voice soft, and even if he _was_ lying, his opinion was the only one that mattered anyway. 

Without warning, Even reached between them and cupped Isak’s swollen dick through his pants. “Your turn,” he smirked, unbuckling Isak’s belt and pulling his pants down just far enough to free him. “And if you could be quick about it, I think our guests would really appreciate that.” 

Isak _was_ quick about it—not out of necessity, but because Even’s blowjob was just that good. Or maybe it was just the fact that they were having wedding sex. Wedding sex was better than engaged sex, he was calling it now. 

He didn’t bother being quiet when he came, just shouted his release into the small room and listened to it echo around him. 

After that, the two of them dressed quickly, working together to make sure they were both presentable, and they had just barely gotten their ties straight again when there was a knock at the door. 

“Are you two almost done in there?” an annoyed Jonas called out to them. “Mikael says we’re about to lose the light—whatever the fuck that means.” 

Sheepishly, Isak pulled the door open to find Jonas standing there with one eyebrow raised, clearly unimpressed. “You know you’re supposed to do this _after_ the wedding right?” he asked. 

Isak just shrugged, not the least bit apologetic, but Even started laughing, pushing past Isak and out into the hall. “Sorry,” he said. “I couldn’t help myself. Have you seen him in this suit?” 

He gestured to Isak grandly and Jonas reluctantly gave him a once-over. “You do look good,” he admitted and Isak beamed. “But seriously, guys. Come on.” 

“Fine,” Even groaned, like it was a chore to leave Isak’s side for even the short amount of time it would take for them to meet again. “Just give us two minutes—I promise.” 

Jonas looked between them, eyes narrowed in suspicion, but eventually caved with a heavy sigh. “Two minutes.” 

Then he was gone, leaving them alone in their house once more. Even looked to Isak, his eyes sparkling with emotion, and Isak could feel his own happiness ready to burst out of his chest. 

“I love you so fucking much,” Even whispered, pulling Isak in for one last long, slow kiss. Isak cupped Even’s cheek in his hand and kissed him back, trying to channel everything he was feeling into it so that Even would have no doubt that he loved him too. 

When they finally broke apart, they didn’t move out of each other’s space, just stood there, their foreheads resting against each other. It was intimate, this moment between just the two of them, and Isak’s heart flipped at the reminder that in only a few short minutes, Even would be his. Forever. 

“Have you decided who’s walking you down the aisle yet?” Even asked. Isak’s stomach sank and he pulled away from him with a pout. 

“I thought we weren’t doing that,” he groaned. 

“We’ve got to get down there somehow, babe,” Even pointed out. “Everyone’s already in their seats. Plus, how else am I supposed to fully appreciate the vision you are in this suit?” He leaned back under the pretense of checking Isak out, but Isak pushed him away. 

“I thought that’s what we just did!” he argued, gesturing to the bathroom and Even laughed. 

“No,” he said. “That was me appreciating you _out_ of the suit.” 

Isak rolled his eyes and walked a few steps away so that he could stare out the window into their backyard. Sure enough, everyone was already seated, talking to each other jovially, and Isak’s heart warmed at the sight of all of their friends and family gathered together for _them._

It was a small affair. They hadn’t wanted it to be a whole spectacle. Isak had never dreamed of having a big, fairy tale wedding and Even had already had one. They just wanted to be married—preferably fast—so they’d thrown the whole thing together in only a couple of months. All of the pomp and circumstance was completely lost on Isak. 

“Who’s walking _you_ down the aisle?” he asked, starting to panic. 

“My parents,” Even answered. “But seriously, Isak. Don’t freak out. Just pick someone important to you. Jonas could do it.” 

Isak bit his lip, thinking. Neither of his parents were there—although admittedly, he hadn’t invited them. He hadn’t spoken to his dad in a decade and his mom wasn’t doing well the last time he talked to her. She hadn’t met Juliet yet and he didn’t want the first time to be when she was out of her mind. He swallowed hard. 

“You okay?” Even asked, reached out to brush a neatly-coiffed curl out of his eyes. Isak nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me a second to think.” He could feel Even watching him worriedly, but he barely had time to stress before he heard their back door click open and little footsteps enter. Even and Isak went to them immediately and found Sonja and Juliet standing there, all smiles. Juliet was wearing a rose-colored dress and a sparkly tiara, both of which cost more than the rest of the wedding combined, but she’d wanted them and Isak and Even couldn’t tell her no. 

“Sorry,” Sonja said and she really did look it. “She was getting antsy sitting out there and Jonas said you two were, um, _presentable_ , so I thought we would come say hi.” 

Even’s face lit up immediately and he reached for his daughter, spinning her around and placing kisses all over her face before sitting her down on the counter. She had been with Sonja all week as they finalized wedding plans and Isak always forgot just how much he missed her until she was gone. 

“You look so beautiful, Jules,” Even said, pretending to be surprised. “More beautiful than me. Isak might decide to marry you instead.” 

Juliet blushed and giggled into her shoulder. “No, he won’t,” she said and Even smiled. 

Isak watched them, thinking about what Even had said about walking down the aisle with someone who was important to you, and he realized that the answer had been right in front of him all along. 

“Hey, Juliet?” he asked and Even stepped out of the way so that Isak could stand closer to her. “I have a huge favor to ask you. Your dad said I have to pick my favorite person in the whole world to walk me down the aisle and you know what? I think that might be you.” Juliet’s smile grew wider and just when Isak started thinking that maybe his heart couldn’t feel any more full, he realized he was wrong. “So what do you say? You wanna help me out?” 

“Yeah,” she agreed, nodding eagerly, and held her arms open for a hug, which Isak gave her, wrapping his own arms around her tightly so that he could lift her off the counter and set her back down onto the floor. “There,” he said to Even, patting his soon-to-be stepdaughter on the head as she curled into his side. “Problem solved.” 

“Well, okay then,” Even laughed, ushering them towards the door. “Let’s get married.” 

Once they were outside, Sonja went to tell Magnus to cue up the music and the three of them found Even’s parents waiting off to the side, ready to walk their son down the aisle. It really was an absolutely beautiful day. The summer sun was beating down on them, painting everything in shining light, and Isak couldn’t imagine anything better than being here with the people he loved most in the world, pledging his heart to the man that had walked into his life and changed it for the better. 

As the first notes of the wedding march began to play from the speakers they had set up, Even turned to Isak one last time. “You ready?” he asked, like he was actually concerned Isak might have changed his mind. Isak, finding himself at a loss for words, nodded. “Well, I’ll see you up there then.” 

Isak watched from behind as Even made his way to the makeshift altar they had erected and, when he was halfway there, he took Juliet’s hand in his and bent down to speak to her one last time. “It’s just you and me, kid,” he said, tweaking her on the nose. She turned away from his touch, but she was smiling, her eyes alight with joy. “You know I love you, right?” he asked, growing serious. His stomach twisted into knots for the first time all day. “So much. And every promise I make to your dad up there today, I’m making to you as well. I can’t _wait_ for you to be my daughter.” 

A brilliant smile broke across Juliet’s face. “I love you too, Isak,” she said and his heart leapt. 

Overjoyed, he kissed her on the forehead and stood. “Come on. Let’s do this thing.” 

As the music continued to play, they walked down the aisle hand-in-hand, and when they got closer, Isak’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of Even standing there waiting for him. He hadn’t expected to be this affected, hadn’t expected to feel this sort of excitement down deep in his bones, but Even’s eyes were sparkling, hiding tears in their depths, and nothing had never felt more right in his life. Although their yard was full of people—people Isak knew and cared about—he only had eyes for Even. 

As soon as Isak got to the front, Even reached for him so that he had Even in one hand and Juliet in the other. He smiled up at Even, his own eyes getting misty, and then looked back down to point Juliet in the direction of her seat, but when he saw her standing there, eyes wide with wonder, he knew he wouldn’t be able to send her away. 

“Do you want to stay?” he asked and he felt Even squeeze his hand as he spoke. Eagerly, Juliet nodded, so Isak bent down and picked her up. She was getting almost too big to be held, her lanky limbs hanging off of him, but he didn’t intend to be there for long. Once he was sure she was comfortable, he turned to Jonas, who was officiating. “Okay, make this quick. I can’t hold her for long.” 

Jonas looked between them in exasperation—probably frustrated that he’d memorized a whole speech for nothing—but nodded. Satisfied that he would do as asked, Isak turned to Even, stared into his bright blue eyes, and didn’t dare look away, not wanting to miss a single second of this: the first moment of the rest of their lives. 

“I guess we’ll just skip to the good stuff then,” Jonas started, speaking loudly enough for those gathered to hear him. “Even, do you take Isak to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as you both may live?” 

They were the traditional vows—the ones you heard on cheesy romance movies—but Isak wasn’t sure he’d ever actually listened to them before. They spoke of forever, a love that would never die, and that was what he wanted. When they’d picked them, all he knew was that he wouldn’t be able to give Even anything more personalized without bursting into happy tears. And besides, voicing all of the ways he was going to love Even for the rest of his life felt intimate, like it was something that should just be between them. Something he should save until they were alone. 

Although Isak’s hands were full holding Juliet on his hip, Even reached out and placed his own hand on Isak’s elbow, drawing him in closer. Isak could see in his eyes the words he wanted to say—the “I love you”s and that “I can’t live this life without you”s—but he choked them all down and spoke only the two words that mattered. “I do.” 

Isak swallowed hard, determined not to cry, and he felt Juliet lay her head on his shoulder, like she too felt weak at Even’s words. 

“And Isak, do you take Even—?” 

“I do,” Isak interrupted and Even beamed. Jonas hesitated, like he wasn’t quite sure that was allowed, but eventually shrugged it off. 

“Well then, I guess you’re married. Feel free to start making out again because we all know you want to.” 

Isak heard a rumble of laughter from the audience, but strangely he didn’t even care that they were sitting there watching. He just leaned forward, more than ready to capture Even’s lips in his. Before he could, however, Even held up a finger to stop him and then lifted his other hand to cover Juliet’s eyes. She tried to swat him away, but Even was adamant, and then, with his daughter's eyes covered, he pulled Isak in for the best kiss of his life. It was a kiss that spoke of promise and hope and the years still left before them that they would get to spend together. 

It worked out perfectly that Juliet was there between them—now a permanent piece of both of their hearts—and without planning it, when they finally broke their kiss, they leaned in together, each pecking one side of her cheek. Juliet's laugh flew through the air like doves being released into the sky and Isak knew that it wouldn’t have felt right any other way. 

* 

Isak supposed that wedding receptions were nice in theory, but he’d grown out of his partying phase around the time he started med school and all he could think about from the second their ceremony ended was getting Even into bed as quickly as possible. A house full of guests made that a bit difficult, but thankfully, they seemed to know Isak and Even well enough not to overstay their welcome. Sonja and Juliet were the last to leave, Juliet lingering for as long as possible because she knew they were departing for their honeymoon the next morning and she still didn’t seem to understand why she couldn’t go. They both kissed her goodbye and promised to bring home souvenirs, so eventually she relented, letting an apologetic Sonja lead her out of the house. 

And then there were two. 

They crashed into each other without hesitation, shedding the suits that had taunted them all day, and when Isak pushed deep into Even’s body that night, he could feel the connection in his very soul, could feel their bodies becoming one in a way that they never had before, and knew that no matter how much time passed, there was nothing that would ever be able to separate them again. Isak could feel Even’s love that night—could see it like it was something tangible—and a love that strong terrified him in the best way possible because he didn’t know what it was capable of, but he was more than ready to find out. 

They came together only minutes later, falling apart in each other’s arms—both overwhelmed by the intensity of their love-making—and when they finally fell back to the bed, come-drunk and so happy it didn’t even feel real, Isak knew, without a doubt, that married sex was the best sex of all. 

It took a little while for their heartbeats to return to normal, but they didn’t waste any time waiting to gain back control. They lay in their bed, facing each other, their hands grazing across every bare inch of skin they could find. Although they had known each other’s bodies intimately for years, the marks on Even’s skin felt new, like Isak was tracing them with new fingers. _He_ felt new. He felt like a completely different person than who he had been when he woke up that morning and he thought it might be because Even had finally moved into his heart to stay. 

“Can I give you my vows now?” Isak whispered into the dark room, tracing the curve of Even’s eyebrow with delicate fingers. 

“I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to say your vows without crying,” Even reminded him. 

Isak shrugged. “It’s just us though. I don’t mind crying in front of you.” 

Even tilted his head, forcing Isak’s hand down onto his cheek, and then he leaned into the touch like he needed Isak to ground him. “Okay,” he agreed and Isak could feel him nod against his hand. “You first.” 

The room was dark enough that Even was nothing more than a shadow in front of him, but that made it easier, somehow, for Isak to speak his mind. There were things he wanted to say to Even—things he had never said to anybody—and the cover of darkness made him brave. 

“Something about this felt inevitable from the start,” he began, his voice only a whisper. And although he had barely gotten started, he heard Even’s breath hitch in his throat, like he hadn’t actually expected him to say anything at all. “You know me—you know I’m not the type of person who believes in love at first sight—but when I saw you and Juliet in my office that day, I swear I fell in love right then. It was like something inside of me knew, right away, that you were mine. I don’t even know how to explain it. I just know that—for the first time in my life—you made me feel like I belonged somewhere. Like I was destined for more than the life I was living.” His voice was starting to shake, so he paused to gather his wits about him before he continued. “I can’t promise you forever, no matter how much I would like to, but I _can_ promise you that for the time we have together, I will love you. You _and_ Juliet. You two are the best things in my life and I swear to you, I will work every day to give you both the best life that I can. Because you’re my everything and you deserve the world.” 

The room was quiet for several seconds, the weight of Isak’s confession crashing down around them, but finally, Even spoke. “Isak,” he said, his voice broken, and when Isak tried to run his thumb soothingly along Even’s face, he realized that his husband was crying, so he closed the distance between them and kissed the salty tears from his cheeks. When he was done, Even pulled him closer until their legs tangled together beneath the sheets and Isak could feel Even’s heartbeat thudding hard against his skin. Isak nuzzled closer to him, silently encouraging him to speak, and after almost a minute, Even did. 

“I’ve never felt like this before,” he admitted, carding his fingers through Isak’s hair. “I didn’t even know you _could_ feel like this. I thought this feeling was fiction—just something you wrote into a movie script to give people an escape from the monotony of real love. But what I feel for you is the most real thing that I’ve ever felt in my life and the movies don’t even come close to what we have. My mind plays tricks on me sometimes—makes me think that I don’t deserve the good things that I have—but for two years, you’ve been a constant in my life and, if you’ll let me, I promise to be a constant in yours. I know there are going to be bad days, but I promise to be there, waiting for you on the other side of them. You’re my life, Isak. You’re more than I ever dreamed of. I remember the first time I saw you, I thought you looked like Prince Charming, but I was so wrong because you’re _better_ than Prince Charming, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be deserving of you.” 

Isak didn’t have words, so he pushed himself off of Even’s chest to look down into his eyes. He felt so raw in that moment, like Even had flayed him open and was looking at the darkest parts of his soul, that it was like he was seeing him for the very first time. When they kissed, Even tasted brand new, and when they finally fell asleep a little while later, both of their eyes still wet from overflowing emotions, Isak dreamed of the future that awaited them. 

* 

They called Sonja from the car on their way to the airport. They weren’t supposed to. She had their kid and their cat and promised to take good care of both for the week they were away, but it didn’t feel right getting on the plane without checking in with Juliet first. So as Isak drove, Even dialed the number, blasting the call over the car’s Bluetooth. 

“Even, I told you not to call,” Sonja groaned in lieu of a greeting. “You’re supposed to be enjoying your vacation.” 

“And how am I supposed to do that without talking to my daughter first?” Even countered playfully, but Sonja wasn’t having it. 

“You shouldn’t have called,” she said and that was ominous enough even without the sound of Juliet’s shrill screaming that soon followed. 

It was unintelligible for several seconds and Isak winced at the sound, but soon he was able to catch a word here and there until her whole argument came together: “I. Want. Doctor. Isak!” 

“Fuck,” Even hissed. “Is she sick?” Because the only time she asked for “Doctor” Isak was when she was sick. 

“No,” Sonja said immediately, but even Isak, who hadn’t known her long in the grand scheme of things, could tell that she was lying. “I mean, she’s not _dying_ ,” she corrected. “It’s certainly nothing you two need to worry about. I think it’s just a stomach bug. It’ll be over before your plane even lands. It’s just—you know how she gets when she doesn’t feel good. She only wants Isak.” 

Even turned to look at Isak, but Isak couldn’t look back. He just gripped the steering wheel tighter and stared straight ahead, his desire to be alone with Even and his desire to make Juliet feel better warring within him. He thought Even could probably sense his internal struggle because he turned back to his phone. “Sonja, I’ll call you right back,” he said. 

“Even, don’t you dare come over here. I swear to god—” Before she could finish talking, he hung up the phone. 

“She’s fine,” Even said immediately, reaching out to place his hand on Isak’s knee. “You’re a doctor. You know she’s fine.” 

Isak tightened his grip on the steering wheel and he intended to nod, he really did, but his emotions had been brewing so close to the surface for the past few hours that his fears just came spewing out of him. “She’s asking for _me_ , though,” he said. “Even, if we get on that plane right now, I’m not going to be able to think about anything else all week except for the fact that when my daughter was asking for me, I just left.” 

He could almost feel Even rolling his eyes—knew that kids asked for unreasonable things all the time and it did you no favors to indulge them—but this felt different, somehow. She was in pain and she was asking for _him._

__

“Isak, please,” Even whined. “Just think about me, shirtless, lounging on a gorgeous fucking beach that we’ve paid a shit ton of money for. Think of all the sex we could be having.” 

“Let’s just check on her, Even” he argued. “We can catch a later flight.” 

Even sighed heavily, clearly resigned to the fact that Isak wasn’t caving. “I shouldn’t have called Sonja,” he realized and Isak chuckled, finally chancing a look over to find Even smiling back at him. “You know, I think you might be taking this whole dad-thing a bit too seriously,” he added, squeezing Isak’s knee to let him know he was joking. “You’re making me look bad.” 

When Sonja opened her front door a half hour later, she gave them the most unimpressed look Isak had ever seen before ushering them inside. “You’re being ridiculous,” she sighed. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my own daughter.” 

“We know you are,” Even said. “But Isak wants to play doctor and he’s the boss of me now. It’s our honeymoon. I have to do what he says.” 

Isak rolled his eyes, but looked around the familiar house, trying to find Juliet. She was nowhere in sight but, at the sound of Even’s voice, Sven had come barreling into the room to brush up against Even’s leg. He always had been his favorite. 

“She’s in her room,” Sonja said to Isak once she noticed him looking. She still sounded exasperated, but her eyes were kind, like she hadn’t expected anything less of him than to drop everything when her daughter asked him to. “If you want to take a sick child home with you on your honeymoon—then fine, I won’t stop you. But she really will be okay.” 

“I know,” Isak admitted. “I just...maybe she’ll believe it more coming from me?” 

Sonja sighed. “Worth a try, I guess. You can go on back there. She wasn’t asleep when I left her.” 

Isak nodded and started making his way down the hall, trusting Even—who currently had his arms full of cat—to follow him when he was ready. Juliet’s room was dark when he walked in, but he could still see her blonde curls shining against a dark purple pillow. He stepped closer and sat down next to her, resting his hand over her tiny body to try to bring her some warmth even through the thick blankets she was covering up with. 

“Jules,” he whispered, not wanting to wake her if she had actually managed to sleep, but at the sound of his voice, she popped up immediately, her smile so wide it was like she wasn’t even sick at all. 

“Dad!” she cried, throwing herself into his arms. For a second, Isak thought she had mistaken him for Even, but she didn’t call Even “Dad” in the first place and when she pulled away again, she didn’t act surprised to see him. “My stomach hurts,” she said and then repeated the same question she’d been asking him whenever she got sick since that very first time so many years ago. “Are you gonna make me feel better?” 

Isak swallowed hard, trying to act unaffected by the fact that Juliet had just called him “Dad,” but he was pretty sure he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. His heart had sped up in his chest and the happiness that still lingered inside of him from the day before now felt magnified. “I’m going to try,” he said and then hugged her again, burying his head in her neck so that he could breath in the reassuring scent of her—his daughter. 

He heard movement by the door and turned to find Even watching him, his smile just as blinding as Isak’s, and Isak couldn’t help but think that no matter how long it took, this little detour had been worth it. 


	4. Chapter 4

4\. 

Ironically, Isak had never wanted kids. He _liked_ kids—of course he liked kids, he worked with them everyday—but spending an afternoon alone with his goddaughter was very different from the lifetime of stress and responsibility that it would take to raise one. When he met Even and Juliet, suddenly everything changed because now there was this one _particular_ kid that he wanted more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. It was like she was a Siren calling out to him, luring him towards her against his better judgement, but from that very first day she had him hooked and with each subsequent day that passed, her grip on his heart only grew tighter. 

After that, Isak adjusted his stance on children. He still didn’t want kid _s,_ plural. But one kid? One kid he could do. Maybe that’s why it was so surprising when, after a year of marriage, he started to change his mind. 

If anyone asked, he would tell them that it was Sana’s fault—just like so many other rash decisions in his life. She’d just given birth to her second daughter, Amina, so they stopped by one night with dinner, hoping they might get a chance to meet her. Yousef greeted them at the door, practically glowing with happiness, and then led them deeper into the house to where Sana was sitting on the couch, rocking the baby to sleep. 

“Hi,” she said when she saw them, her smile wider than Isak had ever seen it before. “Come meet my daughter.” And then, traitor that she was, Sana passed Amina to Even and Isak was forced to watch as his husband bounced the baby in his arms, reaching out to gently stroke first her nose and then her tiny fingers until she grabbed ahold of his hand and refused to let go. 

Isak’s heart clenched in his chest at the sudden softness of the scene and it left him so disoriented that he couldn’t even tell whether the feeling was good or bad. At first he thought it was just some sort of misplaced desire to have been able to see Even act like that with Juliet when she was younger—and maybe it was, a little bit—but when Isak lay in bed that night, trying to shake the image enough to sleep, he couldn’t help but reimagine that same scene, only this time Even was holding a baby with Isak’s bright green eyes. 

Once the idea struck him, he couldn’t get rid of it. Every time he saw a baby, suddenly it was _theirs_. Every time Juliet joked about them giving her a younger sister, suddenly it didn’t feel like such a joke anymore. When Juliet was with them, it did stave off the desire just a bit, but when she was with Sonja, Isak felt her loss more acutely than he ever had before. He couldn’t explain it, not even to himself. There was no part of him that doubted that Juliet was his daughter—no part of him that didn’t feel _privileged_ to get to be her dad—but he just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. Despite the love all around him, he felt lonely, incomplete, haunted by the ghost of a child that didn’t even exist. 

The thoughts had been dancing around his head for two months straight before he found the courage to voice them aloud. It was a Thursday and they had been without Juliet for three days, which was just enough time for Isak to get antsy. He was starting to feel like a drug addict going through withdrawals and he knew Even could tell that something was wrong because he kept trying to distract Isak from his thoughts with very loud, very eager sex—which was, admittedly, working—but as soon as they came down from their high and settled into bed, the thoughts came back. Even had barely clicked the lamp off that night before Isak snapped. 

“I want to have a baby.” The words spewed out of him of their own accord like they had just been waiting for the opportunity to fly free. Isak’s first instinct was to clamp his hand over his mouth to keep himself from saying more, but he refrained, thinking that maybe if he didn’t move, Even wouldn’t notice that he’d said anything at all—and for a second he even thought it worked because the room was deathly quiet, the only sound Isak’s heart pounding loudly in his ears. 

The seconds stretched on like an eternity until finally Even moved, sitting up in bed and clicking the lamp back on. Reluctantly, Isak sat up as well, his face burning. 

Even didn’t look angry or terrified, which was good, but his brows were furrowed in confusion. “What did you say?” he asked, his voice impossibly light given the situation, and for the first time, Isak let himself hope. 

“I want to have a baby,” he repeated. Even’s eyes widened in surprise and when he still didn’t say anything, Isak continued. “With you. I mean, if you want. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about and I thought, maybe, you might want to think about it too.” 

Even shook his head like he was trying to clear it. He looked a bit dazed and Isak belatedly realized that bedtime might not have been the most opportune moment to bring this up. Even sighed and shrugged helplessly. “When we got married, you said you didn’t want anymore kids,” he pointed out, which was true. Isak’s stomach sank at the reminder. 

“I know,” he groaned, burying his head in his hands. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. We can just go back to sleep now.” 

He moved to collapse back against his pillow, but Even just laughed and stopped him, his eyes finally back in focus after the initial shock had worn off. “I’m not mad,” he said, lacing his fingers with Isak’s. “I’m just…I need to think about it.” 

Isak turned back to him in surprise, his hope returning full force, and he let out a breath of air he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Of course you do,” he said. “I shouldn’t have just sprung it on you out of the blue like that.” 

Even snorted. “I mean, it’s not really out of the blue, is it? Not when Juliet asks us every other week when we’re going to give her a sister.” He looked over at Isak and smirked. 

“So you _have_ thought about it,” Isak realized, the storm in his stomach finally starting to die down. 

“Of course I’ve thought about it,” Even smiled, squeezing Isak’s hand. “In hypotheticals, at least. I’ve just never let myself get carried away because I didn’t think that’s what you wanted.” 

“But…” Isak paused, rolling his words around on his tongue to try to find the best ones. “Do _you_ want another kid?” 

He expected Even to hesitate—to say he needed to think about that too—but when he replied, he sounded sure, like there wasn’t a single doubt in his mind. “I’ve wanted another kid for a while,” he shrugged. “Ever since things started getting serious between us. It’s never been something I _needed_ , but the idea has been there. I just need to think— _we_ need to think. I mean, there’s Juliet to consider and it’s not like we can just fuck and make a baby. There are laws and—God, this is going to cost so much money.” 

Isak could feel Even’s hand tense under his as the full gravity of what they were discussing hit him, but now wasn’t the time for that. “Even,” he said, untangling their fingers so that he could cup his face between his outstretched hands. “This isn’t a conversation we need to have tonight. Let’s sleep on it.” 

It seemed to take Even a few seconds to comprehend his words, but when he did, he relaxed, his face breaking out in a tentative smile. “You’re serious?” he asked, like he thought it all might have been a dream. “You want to have a baby with me?” 

Isak leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “More than anything.” 

He guided Even back down to the mattress and curled into his body, forcing him to relax. Soon after, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, both dreaming of a child that they might one day call their own. 

* 

Even didn’t mention their conversation again for almost a week and Isak was too scared to bring it up. He respected that Even needed time to think, but that didn’t stop the butterflies in his stomach from growing more and more vicious with each day that passed in silence. 

He was cooking dinner on Tuesday night, doing his best not to burn anything, but he was _so_ distracted. His thoughts were flitting around at hyperspeed, focused on literally everything except the stove in front of him, and, because of his inattention, he now had two mild burns on his hand and a meal that was going to be far from perfect. 

After the second burn, he forced himself to pause and take a deep breath before continuing on and, as if his weariness had leaked into the next room where Even and Juliet were doing her homework, it wasn’t long before Even joined him in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms tightly around Isak’s waist, hugging him from behind, and it settled something inside of him, allowing him to breathe easily again. 

“You okay?” Even asked, placing a gentle kiss on Isak’s neck. At a loss for words, Isak nodded. Even held him for another minute—a minute that wasn’t nearly long enough—and then he pulled away, ambling over to the fridge to get beers for them both. “Here, drink,” he said, popping the top on Isak’s. “You look like you need it.” 

Isak couldn’t exactly argue with that, so he took a large swig, thinking that maybe it might calm his nerves. He could feel Even watching him so he took another sip, and then another, before Even finally hummed in satisfaction and lifted himself onto the counter next to Isak, who just kept stirring the pasta sauce in front of him. Then, without warning or preamble, Even broached the subject Isak thought he had been avoiding. 

“So, if we do this,” he started, “ _how_ would we do it?” 

Isak turned to him, his eyes widening in surprise, and Even smiled softly. “I’m not good at thinking about things alone,” he shrugged. “You’re the analytical one and I trust your judgement more than my own sometimes. I just need to talk it out, you know? With you.” Isak nodded eagerly, encouraging Even to continue, so he repeated his earlier question. “How would you want to do this?” 

Isak opened his mouth to reply, but Even interrupted before he could actually speak. “It’s not going to be easy for us to adopt. Or, well, it’s not going to be easy for _me_ to adopt. Not with my bipolar.” Isak frowned, not quite sure what to say to that, but Even was already speaking again, making it very clear that he _had_ been thinking about this. “Can we afford surrogacy?” 

Isak set his spoon down on the counter so that he could turn his full attention to Even, no longer caring that dinner might actually be inedible. “We can,” he said, but he was aware it came out sounding more like a question. “I mean, it’ll put a huge fucking dent in our savings—but yes, we can afford it.” 

Even nodded absently, staring at a point over Isak’s head like he was thinking about something that had carried him far away. Isak waited patiently for him to find his way back to him. After almost a minute, Even’s blue eyes met his once more, but he was no longer smiling. “And which one of us would…?” 

Isak waited for him to finish his thought, but Even just bit his bottom lip, like he was scared to say more, and the silence between them became deafening. “Which one of us would be the biological parent?” Isak prompted, wanting to make sure he understood, and Even nodded. Isak rarely saw him like this—so hesitant and withdrawn—and it left a bad taste in his mouth. 

He stepped closer to him, forcibly parting his knees so that he could stand between them, and when Isak finally looked up, he was relieved to find that Even was smiling once more. He rested his hands on Even’s knees and let the thoughts that had been tangled up in his brain finally begin to unravel. 

“I’ve thought about it a lot,” he admitted. “Like _a lot_ a lot—and honestly? I don’t care. Any child that is a part of you is a part of me as well. The DNA isn’t important.” He could tell immediately that he had said something wrong because Even flinched at his words. “What’s wrong?” 

Even sighed heavily and he looked so miserable in that moment that Isak thought he might actually push him away. Instead, he pulled him closer, wrapped his arms around his waist, and let Isak rest his forehead against his chest. He could hear Even’s heart racing beneath his ear and whereas usually he found comfort in the sound, now it just seemed foreboding. 

“I _do_ want to have a baby with you, Isak,” Even said after a minute, pushing Isak away just far enough so that they could look into each other’s eyes once more. “But I can’t be the biological parent.” He paused and looked over his shoulder, checking to see that Juliet was still out of earshot in the living room before he continued. “I’ve never told you this before, but...Juliet wasn’t planned. Before we ever got married, Sonja and I decided that we didn’t want kids. She didn’t want to be a mom and I didn’t want to pass my crappy genetics on to some innocent child.” Isak opened his mouth to argue, but Even barreled on. “No, let me finish. Juliet was my miracle—my perfect little miracle. She’s the one thing I always wanted, but never would have let myself have. And every day, I wake up and I worry—when she throws a temper tantrum, when she gets a little bit too excited about her movies, when she’s in one of her moods and sulks in her room for hours. I feel like I’m just waiting for a diagnosis and even though I know it might never come, it still scares the shit out of me.” 

Isak’s heart clenched in his chest. “Even,” he breathed, cupping his cheek in his hand. He was relieved when Even leaned into his touch. 

“I can’t do that again,” he said and although Isak might not agree with his reasoning, he heard the truth in his words. He swallowed hard and nodded. 

“Okay,” he agreed, snaking his arms around Even’s neck. The air between them was heavy with shared secrets and Isak was having trouble drawing a clean breath. Wanting to lighten the mood, he smiled and rubbed his nose against Even’s playfully. When Even laughed, Isak could feel it throughout his body, like Even’s happiness was something he carried inside of him. “You know,” he mused, “I’m not exactly a wellspring of good genes either. My mom’s schizophrenic, my dad’s an asshole—at least one of those things is bound to be genetic.” 

Even rolled his eyes at the joke, but his smile never left him. They held each other for several seconds, lost in their own thoughts, and when Even finally spoke again, Isak could still hear the giddiness in his voice. “We’re going to have a baby?” he asked, impossibly hopeful, and although Isak had been fine only seconds before, he felt excitement start to bubble out of him like lava from a volcano—uncontrollable and seemingly endless. Tears stung the back of his eyes, but he didn’t try to fight them. For once, he just wanted to let himself feel. 

“We’re going to have a baby,” he agreed, folding into Even’s arms once more. 

Even rubbed his back, but now that they had made a decision, he seemed to have found his voice again. “A chubby little baby with your green eyes and golden curls? Sign me the fuck up.” 

Isak laughed and felt it vibrate against Even’s chest. “We can choose a donor that looks like you," he said. "Blonde hair, blue eyes, freakishly tall.” 

“That would be nice,” Even agreed. “So the baby would still get the good parts of me.” 

Isak kissed Even’s neck and then pulled back so that he could kiss his lips as well. He meant for it to be a chaste kiss—a congratulations of sorts—but they didn’t part for almost a minute, Even holding Isak tightly to him like he never wanted to let go. 

“Just for the record,” Isak said breathlessly once they broke apart. “There are no bad parts of you. I love all of them. I love all of _you_.” Even stared at him in awe, like he couldn’t even believe that Isak was real, and then pulled him in for another long, slow kiss that was interrupted a little while later by the smell of smoke. And although dinner that night _was_ inedible, it was a meal Isak would never forget. 

* 

The waiting was the hardest part and they did a lot of it, but when they finally held that first ultrasound image of their baby between them, it felt real. Isak thought it would get easier after that, but it didn’t. He knew too much about what could go wrong and although he tried to hide his fears from Even, he knew he could sense them. He didn’t like not being in control, didn't like having to depend on someone he didn’t even know to eat healthy and take their vitamins, but over and over again Even reassured him that everything was going to be okay—that the doctors were monitoring the surrogate and their baby—and then he would pull out the ultrasound and get Isak to explain what he was looking at for the hundredth time because “it just looks like a blob to me.” 

They didn’t tell Juliet. Or at least not right away. Even wanted to, but Isak was terrified that something would happen and the last thing he wanted to do was have to explain that to a child. So they waited some more. It was a huge secret to keep bottled inside—especially when Juliet was _still_ wheedling them for a sibling—and although they hadn’t planned any particular moment to tell her, when they received the 20-week ultrasound and finally saw a clear picture of their _son_ , the decision was taken from them. They were usually good about keeping talk of the baby away from her, but looking at that picture, they got lost in their own excitement, laughing and crying and hugging each other, that they didn’t even notice her slip into the room. 

“What’s going on?” she asked, startling them both. She was clumsily climbing onto one of the barstools and before Isak could stop her, she had grabbed the picture off of the counter. She gave it a cursory glance, but then set it back down again, not really knowing what it was. Isak could have brushed it off, maybe made up a story to placate her, but he was just so damn happy that he knew he couldn’t hide it any longer. He looked to Even for permission, still smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt, and when Even nodded, he leaned across the counter and offered the picture to Juliet once more. 

“Hey, Jules?” he asked, happiness ready to explode out of him. “Do you want to meet your baby brother?” 

Her attention snapped back to him immediately and over his shoulder, Even laughed. “In the picture,” he said, gesturing for her to look at it. She did, shaking with excitement, but she quickly got frustrated with the ultrasound, so Isak pointed out the curve of the baby’s nose and the clench of his tiny fists until the image finally formed in her mind. 

“He’s mine?” she asked, looking up at them with wide eyes as she traced the shape of the baby over and over, like she was memorizing it. 

“He’s your brother, yes,” Even smiled. “He hasn’t been born yet though, so it’s going to be a little while before he gets here.” 

Juliet sputtered out the start of several different questions before finally settling on “What’s his name?” She asked it like it was of the utmost importance—like she needed to know the answer right that second—but they didn’t have an answer for her, so Isak just chuckled low in his throat. 

“We haven’t decided on a name yet, sweetie. You’ll have to help us.” 

If possible, her grin got even wider. “Kristoff,” she spit out immediately and next to him, Even groaned. 

“No,” he said, leaving no room for argument. Juliet pouted and clasped her hands in front of her like she was praying, but Even did not give in. “We are not naming anything else after a _Frozen_ character,” he said, gesturing across the room to Sven who was obliviously flicking his tail back and forth as he lounged on top of their dining table. 

Juliet had questions—a lot of them, some that weren’t easy to answer—but in that moment, Isak felt whole again for the first time in a while. The piece of him that had been missing had finally been found and, standing there with Even and Juliet, staring down at a picture of his son, he had never felt more like a family. 

* 

“I don’t know anything about boys,” Even said later that night as he and Isak lay facing each other in bed, both of their eyes still shining with happiness. Isak laughed. 

“ _You_ are a boy,” he reminded him. “You’re _married_ to a boy.” 

Even rolled his eyes like Isak was being deliberately obtuse. “But I don’t know how to _raise_ a boy,” he corrected. Then, “Is that sexist? It’s probably supposed to be the same, right? Except for the whole potty training thing?” 

Isak snorted, but his mind was elsewhere and Even must have noticed his distraction because he reached out and ran his finger lovingly over Isak’s nose, forcing his attention back to him. 

“Talk to me,” Even said and although Isak didn't want to ruin the moment, he knew that he needed to start letting Even into his head, just as Even let him into his. So there, wrapped in a cloak of darkness, Isak voiced the fear that he had kept quashed for weeks. 

“I’ve never raised anything,” he whispered, a shiver creeping down his spine. “Except for...Sven. What if I fuck it up?” 

He could almost feel Even rolling his eyes. “Now, Isak, cut yourself some slack,” he joked. “Sven turned out just fine.” Isak reached out to swat him on the chest, but Even just grabbed his hand and pulled him closer. “But seriously, what are you talking about? You’ve been helping me raise Juliet for years.” 

“That doesn’t count,” Isak argued. “She was already raised when I got her and you were there to keep me from fucking up too bad.” 

“And I’m still here now,” he pointed out, reaching over to tangle his fingers in Isak’s hair. “Stop freaking out. You’re going to be a great dad. Hell, you _are_ a great dad.” 

Isak couldn’t help but smile, buoyed by Even’s praise, and he nuzzled in closer to him, seeking warmth. He had almost drifted off to the feel of Even carding his fingers through his hair when Even spoke again. “He’s going to look like you,” he whispered. “I can feel it. He’s going to be beautiful and kind and strong and smart and—” 

“I get it,” Isak mumbled against his chest with a laugh. Even was quiet for a very long time. 

“No, you don’t,” he finally said. “But you will. When you hold him in your arms for the first time, just remember that the way you feel about him, that's the way I feel about you. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, Isak, because you’re perfect—inside and out—and everyday I fall in love with you just a little bit more.” 

Isak’s heart was full to bursting and he didn’t think he would be able to speak without falling apart, so he just cuddled closer to Even and drifted off to sleep, dreaming about the green eyes of his unborn son and Even’s strong arms holding them both tight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because I know someone will probably mention it: Yes, I am aware that surrogacy is illegal in Norway, which is why I've kept the location of this fic intentionally vague. Isak and Even deserve every happiness in the world and if they want a baby, I'm giving them a damn baby. Thanks for reading ❤️


	5. Chapter 5

5\. 

For the first time in hours, the house was quiet. Noah was asleep in his crib, his face still red and stained with tears, but the crying had _finally_ stopped and the newfound silence was such a welcome reprieve that Isak wasn’t entirely convinced tears weren’t forming in his own eyes as well. He was so out of it, just standing there blinking owlishly at his sleeping son, that he didn’t even hear the nursery door creak open. 

“Finally get him down?” Even whispered from directly behind him, making Isak jump. He snaked his arms around Isak’s waist, pulling him back into his chest, and Isak folded into him immediately, welcoming the warmth that he provided. Even smiled against his neck and then rested his chin on Isak’s shoulder so that they could both stare at the sleeping child in front of them. Whereas only seconds before Isak had been ready to scream in frustration, without the shrill crying ringing in his ears, the beauty in front of him took his breath away. He covered Even’s arms with his own, forcing him to hold on tighter. 

“They make them cute so you don’t kill them,” he noted and when Even laughed, Isak could feel the vibrations against his back. In front of them—as if to prove his point—Noah smacked his tiny lips together, making it impossible to hold a grudge. 

“He _is_ really fucking cute,” Even said, kissing his neck. “I always knew you would make beautiful babies.” 

“You thought about that a lot, huh?” Isak joked. “Making beautiful babies with me?” 

Even snorted. “I haven’t thought about anything else for like a week now,” he said, untangling himself from Isak so he could walk to the other side of the crib. He reached into it and Isak’s first instinct was to stop him, but he bit his tongue and just watched with bated breath as Even squeezed Noah’s toe through his sock. Noah kicked out at him but didn’t wake, and the pleased smile on Even’s face was worth the potential mayhem that small action might have caused. “We should call Jonas,” Even continued, looking back up at Isak. “Ask him to babysit his godson so we can have a night to ourselves. I miss you.” 

Isak’s heart leapt at that admission, pleased to know that even covered in spit-up with seemingly permanent dark circles under his eyes, Even still wanted him. “I know, I’m sorry,” he groaned. “I miss you too. I’ll call him. Maybe next weekend? We could go out for a nice dinner, take a warm bath—” He lowered his voice to a whisper so soft it was barely audible. “Fuck all night long?” 

“Or,” Even proposed, holding up a finger like the idea had just occurred to him. “We could order in pizza, sleep for twelve hours straight, and wait until _Saturday_ to fuck our brains out.” 

It had been over a week since they managed a quickie in the shower and Even’s words alone had Isak’s dick hardening in his pants—although admittedly, he wasn’t sure what aroused him more: the prospect of sex or sleep. “You know just what to say to turn me on,” he said and Even laughed. 

Isak was smiling widely, basking in Even’s happiness, and as he looked between him and their son, he couldn’t believe just how goddamn lucky he was that this was his life. It was one of those moments that the love in the room overpowered the exhaustion and it gave him a new jolt of energy like a shot of espresso. He was just thinking that there was no way things could get any better than they were at that exact moment when he was proven wrong as the door was pushed open for a second time and Juliet stuck her curly hair around the door frame. 

She didn’t say anything, obviously not wanting to disturb them, but Isak, his heart feeling very full, ushered her over and immediately she came, a huge smile on her face as she clutched a book to her chest. “You ready for bed?” he whispered once she was close enough, ruffling her hair playfully. 

She nodded, but seemed too distracted to reply, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look at her baby brother. “Is he sleeping?” she asked, looking up at Isak with wide eyes. If six months with a baby in the house had taught her anything, it was to tread lightly when said baby was asleep. 

“He is,” Even said across from them. “So it’s the perfect time for us to read you a bedtime story. You ready?” 

Eagerly, Juliet nodded and when Even pointed her towards the door she took off running down the hall. He gave Isak one last suggestive eyebrow raise before heading after her, shaking his head in amusement. Isak watched them go and then bent down to kiss Noah gently on the forehead before grabbing the baby monitor and following them out. 

The three of them squeezed together onto Juliet’s twin bed and Isak picked up reading _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ from where they had stopped the night before. Juliet was tucked under one arm, Even under the other, and they were both half-asleep when an all-too-familiar cry rent the air. Isak didn’t actually groan, but it was a very near thing. 

He was just about to pass the book to Even and go check on Noah again when Juliet reached out and wrapped her hand tightly around his arm, holding him in place. Curious, he looked down at her only to find her eyes wide, like she was scared of the thought of him leaving. He was so shaken by that look that he froze, giving Even the opportunity to crawl out of bed himself. “I’ve got it,” he said. “You two finish that chapter, then it’s bedtime. Okay, Jules?” Reluctantly, she nodded. Even leaned in to give her a kiss goodnight and then snatched the baby monitor off of the bedside table as he traipsed across the hall once more. It wasn’t until he was gone that Juliet relinquished her grip on Isak’s arm. 

“You okay?” he asked, but he wasn’t sure she actually heard him because the next thing he knew, she had crawled practically onto his lap and was curling into him closer than she had been before. He frowned, but didn’t think much of it, just ran his fingers through her hair and kept reading. 

* 

Juliet was a good big sister and although the nine-year age difference wasn’t exactly ideal, it came with its own benefits. She knew how to hold Noah safely, how to change a diaper and heat a bottle, and although she didn’t particularly enjoy doing any of those things, she _could_ if they needed her to. Isak knew that the amount of attention she got around the house had dropped exponentially—knew that it was wearing on her even though she never said anything—but she never once took it out on Noah. She loved him so much that she cried each week when she had to leave him, sacrificed her own story time to read to him instead, and it was more than Isak ever could have hoped for. 

Isak was cooking dinner one night while Even talked to his mom on the phone and his heart felt so full looking out into the living room where Juliet was laying on her stomach on Noah’s pallet, offering him stuffed animals and smiling when he started playing with them. His way of playing was mostly just waving the toy around in excitement, but it made him happy and that, in turn, seemed to make Juliet happy. Isak smiled at his two children and then moved to the sink to drain his boiling pot of pasta, but when he returned, the scene had changed. 

Juliet was distracted playing with her own dolls, chattering away to Noah about what this one’s name was and why she didn’t get along with that one, but Noah wasn’t listening. Instead, he had become enraptured by the sparkly collar on one of Juliet’s small plastic dogs and Isak knew what was going to happen a second before it did. He saw Noah pick up the dog, saw him bring it to his mouth, and he was already imagining the worst when, to his surprise, Juliet reached out and knocked it out of his hand. 

“No,” she scolded, her voice sounding just as worried as Isak felt. “You can’t play with that.” Noah stared up at her in surprise for several long seconds during which Isak held his breath, but then, without warning, he started screaming. 

“Fuck,” Isak hissed, plopping the now-drained pasta pot back onto the stove. 

“I’ve got it,” Even said, waving him off, his phone still pressed against his ear. “Mom, I’ve got to go. No, everything’s fine. I’ll call you back in a minute.” Then he slipped into the other room, all smiles, and went straight to Noah. “What’s up, little man?” he asked, lifting him into his arms. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.” Noah calmed immediately, just as susceptible to Even’s charms as Isak was. 

Isak calmed as well, his panic slowly disappating now that Noah was safe in his father’s arms. He was so distracted watching the two of them that he almost missed the sheer terror on Juliet’s face, the way her bottom lip was trembling like she might start crying any second. He didn’t know if she was scared she was about to get yelled at for leaving her toys too close to her brother or just scared in general of what could have happened, but Isak hated seeing that look on her face. 

He wiped his hands hastily on a dish towel and rushed into the living room, but by the time he had turned the corner, Juliet had already fled up the stairs. “Jules,” he called, hoping she would turn around. She never did. 

* 

Isak was a planner. He hadn’t always been that way, but med school had pretty much forced the habit into him and now even just the thought of being five minutes late to anything sent him into a panic. According to Even, that was something he was going to have to grow out of fast. “We have a six-month-old, Isak. If we get anywhere at all, it’s going to be a miracle.” 

Still, that didn’t make the prospect of missing the things he had planned any easier. It was almost Christmas and Juliet was performing in a concert at her school in just under an hour. She had been talking about it for weeks, had been practicing her solo every night—happy, for once, that their attention was finally on her—and although Isak had painstakingly gotten dressed, praying that Noah would make a miraculous recovery, he knew he wasn’t going to make it to that concert. 

“Still have a fever?” Even asked, having to yell over Noah’s relentless crying. He walked over to where the two of them were sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of the nursery and placed the back of his hand against Noah’s forehead. Isak, feeling close to tears, nodded. “Okay, well I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but he’s sick.” Isak swallowed hard, not quite willing to admit that harsh reality to himself yet, so Even sighed loudly and kneeled in front of him, forcing him to make eye contact. “Isak, Sonja and Jonas are both going to this concert, so unless you want me to call my mom, one of us has to stay with him. I don’t mind doing it, but we need to make a decision, like, _now_.” 

Isak closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotions he was feeling, but the darkness didn’t help because even with his eyes closed, he could still hear Noah’s pained cries. “Isak,” Even prompted after a minute, squeezing his knee to get his attention. Isak forced his eyes open and frowned. 

“I’m a doctor,” he finally said, and although it wasn’t explicitly an answer to Even’s question, they both knew it was. The last time Noah had gotten sick, Isak hadn’t left his side for seventy-two hours straight. He didn’t eat, he barely slept, and he almost made _himself_ sick in the process. Even had only asked to be polite—they both knew Isak wasn’t capable of leaving a sick child in anyone else’s hands. 

“Okay,” Even agreed, standing. “Well then Juliet and I have to go. I’ll FaceTime you when she sings her solo.” He bent down and kissed first Isak’s forehead and then Noah’s—who didn’t pause his screaming in the slightest—but when he looked back at them from the doorway for a final goodbye, he seemed to sense that something was still off because he sighed heavily and paused his retreat. 

“Isak, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice sounding almost as broken as Noah’s. Before Isak even knew what was happening, he was crying too—his sobs just as loud as his son’s—and, miraculously, that seemed to surprise the baby into silence, which only made Isak cry harder. Even rushed to him immediately and extricated Noah from his tight grip, crossing the room to place him in his crib and then returning to squat in front of Isak and pull him into a hug. “Baby, talk to me.” 

“She’s going to be _so_ mad,” Isak said once he had composed himself enough to talk, but he still felt choked by his tears. He pushed Even backwards to wipe the wet streaks off of his face and Even just frowned up at him from where he was sitting back on his heels. 

“Juliet loves you, Isak. She is _not_ going to be mad. She’ll understand.” 

“Sad then,” Isak corrected, turning his head when Even tried to cup his cheek. He didn’t deserve the comfort. “I feel like I’ve been such a bad dad lately.” 

“Isak, you have not,” Even said, his voice firm. He stood and then crossed the room to the crib one more time, sticking his hand inside for Noah to grab his finger. “Look, I’m going to try to get him to sleep now that he’s quiet. You go talk to Juliet, okay?” 

Isak stood on shaky legs and although his first instinct was to make sure Noah was fine—to maybe get him some more Tylenol now that he seemed amenable to taking it—he knew Even was right. He was better at getting him to sleep anyway and if he succeeded, that would certainly make Isak’s night a lot easier. 

“I’ll go talk to Juliet,” he decided, stopping in front of the mirror to make sure his face wasn’t still tear-stained and blotchy. It was a little bit, but he thought he would probably be able to pass it off as stress if Juliet asked. Lord knows he’d been stressed enough today. Then, his heart heavy, he left the room, listening to Even’s reassuring coos until he was out of earshot. 

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Juliet was already standing at the door waiting in a beautiful red velvet dress, her hair pulled back in a sleek braid it had taken her weeks to learn how to do. “Where’s Daddy?” she asked, looking over his shoulder. “We need to go. We’re going to be late.” 

“I know, sweetie,” Isak sighed, “and he’s coming, but I need to talk to you for a second first, okay?” Hesitantly, Juliet nodded, her face already falling like she could sense bad news on the horizon. “Noah’s sick, so I’m going to have to stay home with him tonight and miss your concert. I am so, so sorry, Jules. I wanted to be there _so bad_ , but your daddy’s going to tape it for me and when you get home, you’ll have to sing your solo all over again so I can hear it live, okay?” He tried to keep a hopeful smile on his face, but he could feel it waning. He expected tears or yelling—and maybe those would have been easier to stomach in the end because what he got instead had him choking back the lump in his throat once more. 

“You have to make him feel better,” she said, looking up at him from beneath her eyelashes. “Like you make me feel better when I’m sick. It’s okay,” she decided, but her frown betrayed just how disappointed she was. “I understand.” 

Isak was stunned into silence, both wanting to continue apologizing, but also knowing that wouldn’t help anything. Before he could come up with a proper response, he heard Even clomping down the stairs behind him. 

“Jules, you ready?” he asked, drawing both of their attention. He reached Isak first and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before turning back to his daughter, grabbing her coat off of the coat rack, and ushering her into it. “Chop, chop, we’re running late.” Then, turning back to Isak, “Noah’s sleeping, so maybe he’ll stay that way for a little while. Call me if you need anything.” Isak nodded, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Juliet who was moving sluggishly, all of the joy that had been inside of her at the beginning of the day gone. Because of him. Once she was dressed, Even pulled open the front door, but before she stepped through it, she looked back at Isak one last time. Heartbroken, Isak waved. 

“Good luck, Jules,” he said, his smile tremulous. “I love you.” 

As if drawn to him by some force neither of them understood, Juliet rushed to his side and pulled him into a tight hug that took his breath away. Isak hugged her back with everything he had. “I love you too, Dad,” she said when they parted and then, finally, followed Even out to the car. 

Once they were gone, Isak stood staring at the closed door for several minutes, feeling slightly bereft. Then, with nothing else to do, he went back upstairs, even more exhausted than he had been only minutes before. When he reached the nursery, he was unsurprised to find that Noah was already awake again, but he had, at least, stopped crying. In fact, when Isak peeked into the crib, the boy was smiling, his green eyes shining up at Isak happily like he wasn't sick at all. And no matter how much it hurt to miss Juliet’s concert, it was impossible to be mad because a piece of his heart lived inside the baby in front of him and he would do _anything_ to make him feel better, even if just for a second. 

* 

“He’s starting to look more and more like me everyday,” Jonas said, staring down at Noah who he was cradling in his arms. Even laughed, but Isak didn’t find the comment amusing. 

“Please don’t say that,” he snapped. “I swear to god, a single second hasn’t gone by where I haven’t regretted naming him after you.” 

Jonas frowned. “Don’t listen to him,” he faux-whispered into the baby’s ear, moving out of the way so that Noah could clap his hands together at the attention. “He’s just jealous of our love.” 

It was now only a few days before Christmas and the three of them were playing with Noah in the living room while Eva and Sonja helped the girls bake cookies in the kitchen. It had been such a long time since they'd had anything even resembling a dinner party that it was nice to have the house full again. 

“Of course I’m jealous,” Isak said, reaching out to try to take Noah back, but Jonas just turned away from them, keeping the baby out of his reach. “He’s going to like you better than me.” 

Jonas scoffed. “Isabel _already_ likes you better than me. That’s just how godparents work, so—” He stuck out his tongue like he was an actual five-year-old and Noah giggled, drawing all of their attention back to him. 

Isak had his mouth open, a smart retort already on the tip of his tongue, but then he heard Even mutter “What the hell did I marry into?” and rounded on him instead. Before he could say anything, however, Juliet bounded into the room, her golden curls flying, and held out a plate of cookies for them to see, each meticulously decorated in multicolored icing. 

“Look!” she cried happily, holding it out to show them. “Momma helped me. Aren’t they pretty?” 

Isak, who was closest, bent down to inspect the cookies. “It’s Sven!” he laughed, spotted a vaguely cat-shaped cookie coated in bright orange icing. Juliet smiled, clearly pleased he had recognized him. “Juliet, these are amazing,” he said, playfully reaching out like he was going to take one. “Now, which one should I...?” Juliet snatched the plate away with a laugh. 

“They’re not for eating,” she giggled. 

“Well then what are they for?” 

“They just look pretty,” she reminded him. “Will you come make one with me?” 

Isak grinned. “Sure, sweetie. Go show your daddy and then we’ll go make some more. Give Aunt Eva a break.” 

Smiling, Juliet walked around Jonas to show the plate to Even as well, but before Even could get a good look at them, Noah interrupted the festivities by promptly spitting up his dinner all over Jonas’s neatly pressed shirt. 

“Oh fuuuu…” Even said, trailing off before he actually said the word. He turned away from Juliet and tried to take Noah from Jonas instead. 

“Dude, it’s fine,” Jonas said, chill as ever, just patting Noah on the back to make sure he was done. “Just...do you have a rag or something?” 

“Yeah,” Even said, spinning around until he found it sitting on the coffee table. “Here, let me—” 

Much to Jonas’s chagrin, Even began patting his shirt clean, but it became clear immediately that that alone wasn’t going to work. “I’ll go get you another shirt,” Isak said, setting the beer he was holding down on the table next to him. He moved to go upstairs, but when he turned, Juliet was blocking his way. 

“You said you’d decorate cookies with me,” she reminded him, her brows furrowed. 

“I will,” he said, brushing a curl out of her eye. She pulled away from the touch and Isak paused, unsure whether to continue. “Just let me go grab Uncle Jonas a shirt and I’ll be right back.” 

“No,” Juliet snapped and Isak was so stunned, he just froze. In the four years he’d known her, she had never once raised her voice at him. She’d been mad before, of course, and he’d heard her yell at Even, but never him. 

“Juliet,” Even scolded, abandoning his efforts to help Jonas, who was now watching the three of them warily, Noah once again happily resting in his arms. 

Seeming to sense that she was about to get into trouble, Juliet decided to go all in instead of abandoning her efforts entirely. “You never pay attention to me anymore!” she screamed, tossing her entire plate of cookies onto the rug, and then she ran up the stairs faster than Isak had ever seen her move before. They all watched her retreat in stunned silence, wincing as they heard her bedroom door slam shut a few seconds later. At the loud sound, Noah immediately started crying. 

“Fuck,” Even said properly this time, looking over at Isak, who was still in a state of shock, helplessly. 

It was Jonas who snapped them back to attention. “Um, guys,” he said, bouncing Noah to try to soothe him. “Maybe you should go after her? Me and Little Jonas here will be fine.” Despite the situation, Isak still had enough wherewithal to glare at him. “Kidding. But seriously? I’ve been wanting some alone time with my godson anyway, so go.” They didn’t have to be told twice. 

“Why do I feel like I’m about to be grounded?” Isak asked as they walked up the stairs. 

Even frowned. “I don’t know, but I do too. Shit, Isak, what are we supposed to do? We can’t let her just get away with that, but I feel so guilty.” 

Isak sighed. “Me too.” 

When they reached Juliet’s bedroom, they still hadn’t come up with a plan, but Isak had been winging this whole parenting thing for years now, so that was nothing new. He pushed the door open with bated breath, half expecting Juliet to start yelling immediately, but all he heard were tears. 

The lights were off, masking the room in darkness so that all Isak could see was the dark outline of Juliet cuddling into her pillows. Even flicked on the overhead light and Juliet rolled over immediately so that her back was to them. It was ironic that when they were finally giving her the attention she needed, she didn’t actually want it. 

“Jules,” Even said, his voice kind but insistent. He walked across the room and sat down on the edge of her bed. Isak followed him, but stayed standing, scared that if he got too close, it might set her off again. “Look at me, Jules. We need to talk.” 

Juliet’s tears had slowed, but her voice was thick when she spoke. “Go talk to Noah.” 

Even rolled his eyes, but at a quelling look from Isak, sighed. “We don’t want to talk to Noah. We want to talk to you. Will you please turn around for me?” 

It took a while, but they waited patiently, knowing that her curiosity would get the best of her eventually. After almost a minute, she finally flipped over, staring up at Even from her spot on the bed. Even smiled down at her encouragingly, but her eyes tracked past him and found Isak instead. Her frown deepened and she shrank back further against her pillows. 

“Hi,” Isak said kindly. He wanted to reach out and hug her, to let her know that everything was going to be okay, but he was too scared to move. Too worried that _he_ was the source of her anger. They stared at each other, both wide-eyed and wary, for several long seconds before Juliet’s bottom lip began trembling and suddenly, she burst into tears once more except this time she was holding her arms out for Isak. Immediately, he ran to her, joined her on the bed, and cradled her to his chest, giving her the comfort he had been wanting to since he first entered the room. 

“I’m so sorry,” she choked out between sobs, clinging to him so tightly that he could feel her fingernails cutting into his arm. “Please don’t leave.” 

Isak’s heart panged in his chest and he pulled Juliet closer as she continued to cry. “I’m not going anywhere,” he shushed her. “I’m staying right here. It’s going to be okay.” 

Even was watching them both curiously, but he waited until Juliet’s crying had subsided before speaking again. “Jules,” he said, reaching out with the sleeve of his shirt to dry the tears from her face. “Why would you think your dad was going to leave?” Juliet fell suspiciously quiet, tucking her head into Isak’s shoulder like she was avoiding the question. After a brief pause, she shrugged. “Did someone _tell_ you he was going to leave?” 

She looked between the two of them as if debating how much she should say. “Nothing you say could change my mind,” Isak prompted her. “I’m staying right here.” To prove his point, he squeezed her tighter and she folded into him, her body going limp. 

“It was this boy at school,” she mumbled into Isak’s shirt. “He said that I wasn’t your real daughter and now that you have Noah, you don’t need me anymore.” 

Isak’s blood ran cold and he looked over to Even in shock. “Juliet,” Even started. “That’s not—” But Isak couldn’t wait for him to finish before saying what he needed to say. 

“You _are_ my real daughter, do you understand me?” he asked, pushing her away from him gently to make sure that she was looking at him—to make sure she could see the truth in his eyes. “You are just as much my daughter as Noah is my son. I love you more than anything else in this world and I would _die_ if someone took you away from me, so I promise that is never, ever going to happen.” 

Slowly, Juliet gave him a tremulous smile. “You promise?” 

“Yes,” Isak sighed, relieved that she seemed to believe him. “I promise. Listen, I know it’s been a rough few months. Noah has been taking up a lot of our time and attention and we are sorry for that. We’re going to do better.” He looked over at Even, who nodded in agreement. “Maybe next weekend the three of us can go see a movie or something. Anything you want.” 

“Just the three of us?” she asked, her smile growing wider. She turned to Even for confirmation. 

“Uncle Jonas seems very eager to babysit,” he agreed with an eye roll. “Might as well let him. But Jules,” he continued, the levity leaking out of his voice. He scooted forward on the bed so that he could take both of her hands in his. “Blood doesn’t make a family, okay? Blood means nothing. You and your dad might not share blood, but he is your father—no more or no less than I am. Just like Noah is _my_ son and _your_ brother. You feel that, right? That we’re a family?” 

Slowly, Juliet nodded. “I’m sorry that I yelled at you,” she said, ducking her head in sorrow. Isak rubbed her arms soothingly. 

“It’s okay, sweetie. Just next time, why don’t you tell us what’s bothering you so that we can fix it sooner?” 

“Preferably before a plateful of cookies ends up smashed on our living room floor,” Even added, falling silent when Isak swatted him on the arm. 

After that, it took some finagling to get them all out of bed and presentable enough to drift back downstairs to join the party, but they needn’t have worried about how they looked because when the three of them walked into the kitchen, all of their eyes still red-rimmed, it was to find Jonas ambling around the room shirtless with Noah propped on his shoulder. 

“On it,” Even said, turning back around immediately to grab the shirt they had promised him a half hour before. 

Isak, craving the closeness of family after the conversation he’d had upstairs, forced Jonas to pass over his son and then he sat down at the table next to Juliet with Noah happily gurgling on his lap as the two of them decorated cookies together. And when Juliet reached out a little while later and playfully rubbed a streak of icing onto Noah’s nose, smiling as her brother laughed in delight, Isak knew that they were going to be just fine. 


	6. Chapter 6

+1. 

Isak tried to stay quiet—he really, really, did—but it didn’t come naturally to him and although he had been with Even for six years now, he still wasn’t great at it. He was, however, usually better than _this_ , but when Even gave a particularly hard thrust right against his prostate, Isak couldn’t help the broken moan that escaped him. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, wrapping his arms tighter around Even’s broad shoulders to pull him closer. He rocked his hips forward, searching for some sort of friction against his dick, but Even seemed determined not to give it to him. Instead, he chuckled at Isak’s obvious frustration and bent down to bury his face in the crook of his neck, lavishing wet kisses against the sensitive skin there. He kept humping into his body—dirty grinds that made him sweat and feel like his nerves were being flayed apart—but he was refusing to give him _more_. “I swear to god, Even, if you don’t hurry the fuck up—” 

Even pulled out of him until just the tip was still inside keeping him stretched open, and then pushed back in, hitting Isak’s prostate once more like it was a game he was playing. Isak’s moan that time was loud enough that Even stopped moving altogether. 

“Shh,” he hissed playfully, placing a finger against Isak’s lips as if that might actually help. “You’ll wake the kids.” 

Isak rolled his eyes and thrust his hips forward once more, trying to take by force what Even was refusing to give him, but Even only pulled out further, making it impossible. “You’re doing this on purpose,” Isak whined, his hips collapsing back down onto the bed. 

“Doing what on purpose?” Even laughed. 

Isak shrugged, already embarrassed to have spoken at all, but Even just raised his eyebrows, making it very clear that he was not moving again until Isak answered his question. “Making the sex too good,” he snapped. “I can’t stay quiet if you’re going to keep doing that.” 

“I’m making the sex _too good_?” Even replied, deadpan. “Are you actually requesting mediocre sex? I’m doing some of my best work here, Isak.” 

“Yes, I’m well aware,” Isak smirked, his heart fluttering at the way Even preened at his words. “Just keep going. I’ll stay quiet.” 

“Yeah?” Even asked, clearly doubtful. He pushed deeper inside of Isak—just enough for him to feel it—and Isak had to swallow the whimper that escaped him. They had been doing this for what felt like hours now, approaching the edge and then backing off again until Isak’s insides felt like they were on fire. 

“Yeah,” Isak agreed petulantly. “Just fucking fuck me already.” 

With a smirk on his face, Even did, taking Isak higher and higher with each thrust until he completely forgot his promise to stay quiet altogether. Even too seemed to have reached a point where stopping for long enough to reprimand him was impossible because instead of arguing, he just kissed him wet and dirty, swallowing his sounds until they were just a tangle of unintelligible moans and grunts. 

Isak came first less than a minute later, shooting white cords of come across his stomach. He managed to stay quiet only because Even had his hand clamped hard over his mouth. Even followed soon after, finishing inside of Isak silently, but his face was scrunched up in pain like it took him some effort to do so. 

“Showoff,” Isak said once he was finished, softening his words with a gentle hand on Even’s cheek. Even smiled and kissed him fiercely before pulling out of his body and collapsing against his chest. They were both breathing hard, trying to steady their racing hearts, and although their skin was sticking together from a mixture of sweat and come, Isak didn’t feel the least bit disgusted. He just wanted to lay there for as long as Even would let him, basking in the feel, the taste, the scent of _them._

“We’re going to have to get you a ball gag,” Even joked after a few minutes and Isak choked out a laugh. 

“You would never,” he smirked, carding his fingers through Even’s damp hair. “You get off on my sounds. Don’t even lie.” Even nuzzled deeper into Isak’s chest, and Isak felt him smile against his bare skin. 

Isak was so comfortable with the weight of Even anchoring him down that he had already started drifting back to sleep when he heard a dull _thud_ from just outside their bedroom that sounded suspiciously like something—or someone—falling on the stairs. Panicked, he sat up immediately, knocking Even off of his chest and onto the mattress where he grumbled in displeasure. Before he could get up, however, he heard the soft tinkling laugh of his son drift under the locked door and his worry faded. 

“Shhh, Noah, be quiet,” he heard Juliet whisper from the hallway. “You’ll wake them up.” There was some more shuffling around, like she was helping him stand, and then slowly their footsteps drifted off towards the kitchen. Isak looked down at Even, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, only to find his husband lying there without a care in the world, his bare chest on full display with his arm thrown casually over his head. 

“What are they doing?” Isak asked, gesturing towards the door. 

Even shrugged. “I don’t know, but it sounds like they want us to sleep through it, so…” He trailed off suggestively, far more trusting than Isak who climbed out of bed, already prepared for damage control. “Isak, chill,” Even laughed, grabbing his arm and pulling him back onto the mattress. “They’re fine. Juliet’s watching Noah and she knows not to touch the stove without us in there.” 

Isak waited a beat, hoping Even would realize the flaw in his reasoning, but it never came. “ _Juliet_ burned a cup of instant noodles in the microwave last week, Even. She almost set the house on fire. I don’t trust her making so much as a Pop-Tart without supervision.” 

Even winced. “Fair point.” Isak once again moved to leave the room, but Even pulled him back down. “No,” he said, pointing to Isak’s side of the bed as he stood up himself. “You stay. Take a nice, relaxing shower and _I_ will go help the kids.” Isak opened his mouth to argue, but Even was having none of it. “It’s your birthday,” he reminded him unnecessarily. “Let me do something nice for you.” 

Reluctantly, Isak plopped back against his pillows and sighed. “How am I supposed to take a nice, relaxing shower without you though?” 

Even, who was pulling a faded navy blue sweatshirt over his bare chest, chuckled. “You’ll figure it out.” He walked back to the bed to give Isak one last kiss, but at the press of his lips, something came over Isak and he couldn’t let him go. He tangled his fingers in Even’s sweatshirt and pulled him down on top of him until they were rolling around on the sheets again, their lips tangled together deliciously. Isak could already see what had started as an innocent goodbye devolving into round two, but before it could get that far they were interrupted by the distinctive sound of glass shattering in the kitchen. They sprang apart instantly, both looking towards the door. 

“And that’s my cue,” Even groaned, burying his head in Isak’s neck for only a second before sitting up, knowing better than to waste anymore time. Before he left, he pointed Isak in the direction of the bathroom. “Shower, Birthday Boy,” he demanded. “I’ll see you in a minute.” Then, without another word, he was gone, leaving behind a painfully aroused Isak who was more than a little bit curious about what was awaiting him on the other side of his bedroom door. 

He showered quickly, having no reason to linger since Even wasn’t there, and changed into the most comfortable pair of sweat pants that he owned because it was his birthday and he had every intention of spending it at home with his family. Once he was dressed, he warily slipped out of his room, feeling a bit more at ease when the only sounds he heard from the kitchen were Even’s low voice talking Juliet through something and Noah’s near-constant laughter. 

When he finally ducked his head around the corner, it was Noah that spotted him first. “Dada,” he exclaimed excitedly from where Even was holding him propped up on top of the counter. Even, who was supervising some culinary endeavor of Juliet’s, looked over, but upon seeing that Noah wasn’t talking to him, he turned to Isak and smiled. 

“Hey, buddy, good morning,” Isak greeted, relinquishing Even of Noah-watching duty as he scooped him into his arms. “Did you sleep well?” Noah nodded, reaching out to smack his tiny hands against Isak’s face. Isak had just turned to tell Juliet good morning as well when she beat him to it. 

“What? No! You’re not supposed to be here,” she cried, leaning around Even to speak to him. Most of her body was hidden behind Even’s broad shoulders, but Isak couldn’t miss how her arms were covered in what looked like pancake batter all the way up to her elbows. “Breakfast isn’t ready yet.” 

Isak smiled, his heart leaping happily in his chest. “Are you making me breakfast?” he asked, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. She pulled away in annoyance, so Isak compromised by kissing Even instead. 

“Gross,” Juliet muttered, watching them. “Look, just go sit down, okay? You’re not allowed to help.” 

Even turned to him with an impish grin, “better do as the lady says” written all over his face. Isak rolled his eyes, but hiked Noah higher on his hip and carried him to the kitchen table instead. 

“Oh, and happy birthday, by the way,” Juliet added once he was settled and when Isak looked over at her, she was smiling, her hair still in tangles from sleep and her cheeks flushed pink. Although the older she got, the more of Sonja he saw in her, her attitude was all Even. The way she threw herself into projects with wild abandon, the way she always put other people first, the sheer capacity for love she seemed to have inside of her. Hopefully, she’d get his cooking skills in time as well. 

“Thank you, Jules,” he replied and she turned back to the pancake batter, stirring it ferociously. 

Isak watched her for a second, noting how she was determined to do everything without Even’s help despite him standing behind her offering, but eventually he turned back to Noah who was gurgling happily on his lap. He had just turned two and, according to Even, he was a happy kid—or at least a happier kid than Juliet had been. He was quiet for his age, but not enough that it concerned Isak yet. Isak had been a quiet kid too. 

“Did you help your sister with breakfast?” he asked, biting Noah’s hand lightly when he clapped it against Isak’s lips. The boy cried out in delight. “Did you?” 

“Yes,” Noah said, nodding. 

“And do you know what today is?” 

Once again, Noah nodded—this time with more enthusiasm. “Cake!” he cried and Isak couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah,” he agreed through his laughter. “Cake.” He leaned forward to kiss Noah on the forehead, but he had to push a handful of golden curls out of his bright green eyes to do so. “You, my friend, need a haircut,” he said, and despite the fact that Noah had freaked out the last time they tried to take him to a barber shop, he only smiled. 

It was disconcerting sometimes just how much they looked alike—how much they acted alike too. Isak remembered Even telling him once that Juliet was the only thing he’d ever truly done right in his life and looking at Noah, he understood that feeling completely, even if it might not necessarily be true. It was like all of the good parts of him had been distilled down into this whole other person that shined so bright in such a dark world that it was blinding. 

It took a good forty-five minutes for Juliet to finish the pancakes and although they were all hilariously lopsided and oblong, they tasted divine. “Secret Bech Nӕsheim family recipe,” Even announced when Isak asked, ruffling Juliet’s hair fondly. 

After that, per Isak’s wishes, the four of them spent the day inside and Juliet didn’t complain once. In fact, she stayed close to Isak the whole time, curling up next to him when they watched movies and joining his team when they played board games (although considering her other choices were a two-year-old and Even, the least competitive person Isak knew, he tried not to get too excited about it). The most stressful part of the day was keeping Noah away from poor Sven—who was way past traumatized by the toddler at that point—but that was nothing new. It was the best birthday Isak had had in a very long time. 

After dinner, they gorged themselves on cake and then settled in to open presents. Noah, who loved ripping paper apart more than pretty much anything, helped Isak to unwrap first a slapdash finger painting from him, then a gilded silver picture frame with “Dad” printed on the side from Juliet, and finally a way-too-expensive watch from Even with an additional “more later” mouthed suggestively over the kids’ heads. And still, all of those presents were nothing compared to the gift Juliet gave him when Even disappeared upstairs a few hours later to put a drowsy Noah to bed. 

“Hey, Dad?” she asked, sidling up next to him. Isak forced himself to look away from the photograph she had given him with some difficulty. It was one of his favorites. They’d been at Jonas’s house for Isabel’s eleventh birthday party and Isak had been so distracted watching his goddaughter celebrate that when he looked around, he was surprised to find that he had lost track of his own kids. After a brief moment of panic, he’d found them sitting on the grass together, Juliet feeding Noah bites of ice cream off of her own spoon. It was the first time Noah had ever had ice cream and while Isak felt a small pang at having missed it, he couldn’t begrudge his daughter that experience because the two of them were laughing together, both covered in sticky liquid, and it was the cutest thing Isak had ever seen. He snapped the picture before either of them caught him looking. 

“What’s up?” Isak asked, pulling her into his side. Juliet laughed, but let him, resting her head on his shoulder like she sometimes did when she was tired. She wasn’t much of a cuddler anymore, but old habits were hard to break while on the brink of sleep. 

“I have something I want to ask you,” she said, her voice suddenly serious. Isak tensed up, but tried not to let his worry show on his face. He hummed to let her know he was listening. “There’s a father-daughter dance at school next weekend and—um, well, here.” She pulled a folded piece of paper out from underneath her and passed it to Isak sheepishly. It was crumbled a bit from where she had been sitting on it, but that didn’t diminish the beauty of the cartoon Isak and Juliet that were drawn on the cover of the makeshift card. “We made them in class today,” she added, biting her bottom lip as she tracked Isak’s movements. He easily could have stared at that picture all night, but sensing that Juliet was nervous about something, he opened the card. 

Inside, written in Juliet’s sloppy cursive, was a simple note outlined in pink hearts: _Thank you for being my dad even though you didn’t have to and thank you for always making me feel better when I get sick. You are the best dad in the whole world. Love, Juliet_

Isak stared at the page until the words became blurry from the tears building in his eyes, but he did his best to choke them down, knowing that he needed to say something. It wasn't that the words in Juliet's letter were _new_ , but to see them written out like that affected him more than he could have imagined. It was the best present he had gotten all day. 

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Juliet interrupted when he had been silent for probably too long. “But I was hoping, maybe, you might want to go to the dance with me?” 

Isak’s heart was beating out an excited rhythm against his ribcage, but he was scared of showing too much emotion so it took him a few long, arduous seconds to steady himself enough to speak. “I would love that,” he admitted, huffing out a small laugh at just how big of an understatement that was. 

“Yeah?” Juliet asked with a huge smile, pulling back to look him in the eyes. 

“Yeah,” Isak agreed and then she was hugging him once more. Isak couldn’t help but close his eyes and lean into her touch, knowing that her teen years were fast approaching. He wasn’t sure how much longer she would let him hold her like this, so they stayed wrapped together in love and warmth until Even returned from putting Noah to bed. 

“Jules,” he said kindly, calling both of their attention to him as he stood waiting at the top of the stairs. “You too. Come on.” 

Juliet groaned, but extracted herself from Isak’s arms without argument. “It’s not even my bedtime,” she lamented. “You just want to make out with him some more.” 

Even laughed. “Guilty as charged, but do you really want to be here for that? So shoo.” Juliet threw one last smile at Isak and then climbed off of the couch. 

“I love you, Dad,” she said, radiating happiness. 

And although the words seemed inadequate to convey the sheer depth of his emotions, he returned them. “I love you too, Juliet,” he breathed almost reverently and watched as she headed towards the stairs, allowing Even to kiss her on the forehead as she passed by him. 

“Good night, sweetie,” he said and then joined Isak on the couch once more, slipping into Juliet’s recently vacated spot tucked beneath his arm. 

“Is that a smile?” Even laughed, looking up at him. Isak tried to wipe the grin from his face, but knew that he was largely unsuccessful. He wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of what Juliet had asked without sounding cocky, but luckily Even did it for him. “Did she ask you about the dance?” he said knowingly. 

Isak sighed like a school boy with a crush. “Yeah, she did,” he admitted. “Are you working late that night or something? I must have missed it on the calendar.” 

“No,” Even chuckled. “I’ll be here. Babysitting, apparently.” 

Isak snorted. “Hate to break it to you, but it’s not ‘babysitting’ if it’s your own kid.” 

“Well, damn,” he smiled. “I really needed that money too.” 

They fell into a comfortable silence, Even laying back against Isak’s chest while Isak ran his fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp every so often to make him purr just like Sven did when you rubbed his ears. Soon, however, as Isak was prone to do, he started overthinking things. 

“Is it alright if I go with her?” he asked after agonizing over it for a few minutes. “I didn’t even think when I said yes, but if it’s something you were looking forward to—I don’t want to take anything away from you.” 

“Isak, it’s fine,” Even chuckled, tilting his head back to look at him, and there was nothing in his eyes to suggest he didn’t mean it wholeheartedly. “She wanted to ask you. She said her teacher was fine with both of us coming, but I just thought...That’s something special for the two of you, you know? You should go.” 

Happiness blossomed in Isak’s heart once more. “I want to go,” he admitted, surprised to find just how difficult it was to do so. Even had never once treated him as anything less than Juliet’s father, but it still amazed him sometimes that this was his life. 

“Thank you so much, Even,” he said, his voice breaking on the words. He hadn’t expected to get so emotional, but the joy of the day was catching up to him and his heart was so full it felt like it might explode. That emotion had to go somewhere. 

“For letting you go to the dance?” Even asked, sitting up so that he could cup Isak’s face between his hands. “Isak, of course, I—” 

“No, not that,” Isak admitted, putting his own hands on top of Even’s, needing to feel his bare skin against his own, needing it to keep him grounded, to make him whole. “Thank you for _everything_. For the dance and my birthday and this family and _us_. Thank you for all of it.” 

Even’s face softened and he reeled Isak in for a gentle kiss. “It’s not exactly a chore to love you, Isak Valtersen. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” 

Isak felt his cheeks heat and was pleased to find that Even could still elicit that reaction from him even after so many years. “I...I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this before, but after everything that happened with my parents, I pretty much just gave up on ever having a family again. _You_ gave me that back. I don’t know how I can ever repay you for that.” 

“Isak,” Even breathed like he couldn’t even believe the words Isak was saying. “There’s nothing to repay. And even if there were, you’ve more than repaid it. You’ve given me a love—a life—that I never even knew was possible. You’ve given me a _son_. My life was headed in a very boring direction before I met you and you gave me a reason not only to live, but to love life again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

Isak smiled. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too.” Then, because somehow that just wasn’t enough, “I love you so fucking much.” 

Even laughed. “I love you so fucking much too.” 

Then he pulled Isak close and gave him the birthday present he had promised earlier. And as they moved together, kissing on the couch that they had bought years before—a couch now stained from the adventures of tiny hands—Isak thought about their two perfect children asleep upstairs and how they had never been part of his plans, but they were what his life had been missing all along. He thought about all of the life still left before him: the birthdays and the graduations and maybe even grandchildren, eventually. He thought about Even, standing there next to him through it all. There weren’t words to describe exactly what he felt for Even, but when he looked at their children, he found them anyway: joy, warmth, safety, _love_. It was his birthday—his 34th birthday—but it felt like his life was just getting started. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the comments and kudos over the past week. I hope this last chapter lived up to expectations and gave some closure to the story of this adorable little family ❤️


End file.
